The Wolowitz Enigma
by regertz
Summary: Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…
1. Chapter 1

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

CERN, underground collider facility, December 2012…

"Welcome to the Holy Grail of experimental Physics…Pretty impressive, eh…?" Leonard, grinning…

"Wow…" Penny stared, nodding at the huge structure spread out under the observation windows… "Boys, I gotta say…For once I am not bored with the Science stuff…"

"And I'm lovin' it that it's my boy's toy…" she whispered to a beaming Leonard…

"Beautiful…Simply beautiful…" Raj shook his head… "I feel like I can die now…Unless the Mars program goes manned at last or we invent interstellar drive…"

"Would I like to get into the guts of that baby…" Howard sighed…Hands reaching to the window glass… "Just look at those curves…"

"What?..." he eyed Bernadette's frown… "I am actually looking at the collider, you know…"

"Howard, I can see that technician in the reflection on the glass too…" she replied, grimly…

"What?...Oh, her?..." he looked back… "Can't compare to these beauties…" he leered at the glass…

Now I'm getting creeped out instead of mad…Bernadette hissed to Penny…

"There are no words…Except that even Penny can somewhat appreciate this paean to Science at her usual low level…" Sheldon noted, sighing as he stared… "Though I would claim it primarily as an achievement for theoretical Physics…"

"Oh, really…" Leonard began… "Sheldon…"

"Ok, we've seen it…It's big…Hurrah…Lets go back to our hotel…" Amy, frowning…

"Well…We haven't had the tour yet, Amy…" Leonard noted…

"O f course…Enjoy it…Come on, Sheldon…" she pulled at Sheldon who looked startled…

Welcome to married life, Dr. Sheldon… Fowler-Cooper…Leonard grinned at him…Silently eyeing Penny who grinned…

"But Amy…Dearest…" Sheldon tried… "We're at CERN…The Holy Grail, as Leonard rather aptly put it…Though the Grail of theoretical…"

"I'm on my honeymoon, damnit!..." Amy cried… "See this…?" she waved her hand, wiggling fingers to display her ring… "This means you promised to honor your commitment to me…And you damned well are not going to honor it here!…"

"But…Sweetness…CERN…?"

"It will be here when we've honeymooned by walking on the Alps and sailing on Lake Geneva…Swimming naked if the water's warm enough…Don't argue with me, Sheldon…And don't give me that 'But it's CERN?' look…You promised me a honeymoon and thanks to my generous patron and reasonably good sport…In the end…." she eyed the bemused 'Are you kidding?' looks… (But that's another story…)

"…At losing, Sheik Prince Faisal, you didn't even have to pay for it…"

"I gotta get me a sheik to fund my acting career…And our honeymoon in Paris…" Penny noted to Leonard…

"Couldn't we just do the tour?..." Sheldon tried… "They have a train…"

"The last day…Sheldon, I know you…If I let you start poking around here with Leonard, you'll be designing experiments and spending every day till we go back working here…And I'll get fat eating Swiss chocolate and cheese waiting for you…"

"And drinking the wine…They say it's great…" Penny noted… "But we'd work some of it off shopping…"

"See…No problem…" Sheldon beamed…

"Not helping here, bestie…" Amy, grim frown to Penny… "Sheldon…" pleading look… "I've dreamed of my honeymoon since I was a little girl living a blighted life with my mother…Though I never thought it would happen, it has…Don't rob me of this…"

"Sheldon…" Leonard sighed… "Amy's right...This is her time…And yours, together…And we have an obligation to work here this week while you don't…"

Thank God…Howard breathed to Raj…

"Yeah, Sheldon…Amy deserves a good time…She's gone and foolishly married you…Get out there and honeymoon, mister…" Penny pointed toward the door to the observation chamber…

"What, are you and Bernadette going to stay and work here all week?..." Sheldon frowned…

"Hell no…Soon as this tour's over she and I are hittin' the shops, then the slopes…" Penny chuckled… "And then Stadt…Paradise in the Swiss Alps, as Inspector Clouseau's boss once said…Thanks, bestie…" grin to Amy…

"Thank Sheik Prince Faisal…And accept his apologies for the assassins and near murder thing… " Amy smiled… "And Stadt is next on our list, too, Sheldon…No ifs, ands, or buts…"

"Of course…" he nodded…Noncommittally guarded look…

"Whipped?..." Raj whispered to Howard…

"Like a puppy owed by Michael Vick…" Howard nodded…

"Goodbye Supercollider of my dreams…" forlorn look… "Farewell train ride of the world's desire I shall never enjoy…Auf Wiedersehen, Earth's only stable antimatter I shall never see outside a picture on TV…Ciao, neutrino collect… "

"Oh, all right!..." Amy cried… "We'll take the tour!…"

"If you really want to…Sweetness…" Sheldon…Sincerely innocent look…

"Wipe that phony look of angelic innocence off your scheming little face or it's no deal…."Amy glared…Eyes flashing… "And we leave after said tour…No long session of questions with the director..No inquiries as to times available for a 'little something'…No 'helping' Leonard with any problems…"

"'Helping' is right…" Leonard sighed to Penny…With relief…

" Ok…Thank you, Amy…" Sheldon, abashed tone…Smile… "I promise…"

"On Meemaw's soul…" Amy, grimly…

Damn… "Sheldon!..."

"I mean…Yes…On Meemaw's soul…" sigh…

"Lord, she knows me well…I thought I was a human enigma…" he hissed to Leonard…

"Not really…" Leonard shook his head… "The only enigma with you is that anyone could put up with you enough to love and marry you…"

"True enough…" he nodded… "Lucky you and Howard have girlfriends who care so little they can go off and leave you for three weeks alone on a once-in-a-lifetime all-expenses paid romantic fantasy without a second thought…Whereas Raj might possibly get drunk and lucky during the daily wine break here…"

"And don't think I haven't been eagerly anticipating that…" Raj, grinning…

"Hey…" Penny frowned… "We care…We just aren't on our honeymoons…Believe you me, when I'm on our honeymoon…"

Leonard beaming…Our honeymoon?...

"…Stop it, Hofstadter…" she eyed him… "But, yeah…Our honeymoon…If a certain hobbit physicist ever works up the nerve…And when I'm on it, you bet he's gonna stick with me like glue…Whatever big science thing is around…I don't care if you build an Enterprise, Sheldon…"

"Excuse me…Howard would build it…I would design it…" Sheldon corrected…

"Whatever…I understand this is work for Leonard…And we'll have a couple of days to kick around together…But on the honeymoon…Not a chance…"

You are takin' notes on this?...she hissed to Leonard…

"Oh, yeah…"

"Ditto to what Penny said…" Bernadette nodded… "Howard!..." she shouted in Wolowitz mom voice…He jumped a bit… "You got that?..."

"Just a sec while my arrhythmia decides if it's time to go cardiac nuclear…" Howard gasped… "Ok, not my dying day…Sure, honey…"

Like a Michael Vick puppy…She beamed to Penny…

"Dr. Hofstadter…" a voice called from the access door…

"Oh, Dr. Benton…Guys…You know Dr. Benton, head of the neutrino analysis team…" Leonard stepped forward to greet the middle-aged, slender, graying scientist in dark suit, CERN badge prominent…

"Sheldon Cooper..Vacationing tourist…" Sheldon put out a hand…Eye to Amy who nodded carefully…

"Dr. Cooper…A pleasure…I just read your paper on…"

"My brother Sheldon…Sheldon Lee…I'm Sheldon Mark…" Sheldon interrupted…

"A joke, Dr. Benton…Sheldon's famous for them…" Leonard, hastily… "But he won't be with us these weeks, he's on his honeymoon with Dr. Fowler-Cooper here…" he turned to introduce Amy…

"Hello…Please don't tempt my husband any further with the delights of this temple of Physics…I've been waiting my whole life for him and this damned honeymoon and I'll help terrorists destroy this place before I'll give either up to it…" Amy, desperately…

"Another kidder…Runs in the family…" Leonard, wanly…

"I think I understand…CERN has destroyed a few marriages…We'll try to tone its attractions down as much as possible, Dr. Fowler-Cooper…And, congratulations…" smile… "I think I can safely say this is the last thing we in the Physics world ever expected from Sheldon Cooper…And miracles are rare…Even here at CERN…"

"This is just incredible, Dr. Benton…" Penny noted…Eyeing the open-mouthed group behind her…Bernadette leading Howard…Leonard, Raj behind…Sheldon slowly trailing with Amy…

"Glad you're enjoying it…" Benton smiled…Halting for the rest to catch up…

"And if our boys here could still speak…They'd agree, I'm sure…"

"Happens to all our new physicists, don't worry…"

"Dr. Benton?..." Amy came up, leading a staring Sheldon… "Sheldon wants you to know he appreciates you're doing the train ride twice…"

"Not a problem…I get a kick out of it myself…" he smiled…Penny chuckling…

Hmmn?…Leonard came out of his wonder trace…Eyeing the handsome physicist to whom his girl seemed to be paying a surprising amount of attention….

I mean, to a physicist talking about Physics…

"You realize these hands will soon be in contact with those controls…" Howard sighed to Bernadette…Eyeing his hands, then the nearest monitoring station…

"Yeah…That's enough, Howie…And no more about tenderly caressing them, you're creepin' me out…" she shook her head…

Raj sighing out the window running to his side…Returning smile from a pretty technician visible busy on top of part of the collider structure…

I mean…There's the glory of Science…And that other glorious thing…And when the two can come as a package deal…

Catching frown from Bernadette…

Hmmn?...

Come on, girl…I thought we'd agreed once and for all we were done…You might remember we're in Amy's sister's continent now…And she likes Howard, however reformed she may be….Geesh, who are you, Donalda Draperette?...

"Isn't that the actor…Gregor McEwan?...From "Revenge of the Illuminati: Leonardo Code II"?..." Leonard stared at the lithe young-looking figure in priestly black, complete with collar, engaged in conversation with a dark-haired, attractive young woman in lab coat near a transparent airlock door… "Are they filming a third chapter, here?...I thought he got killed in the movie…"

"Hmmn?...Oh, no…That's the father…I mean, the older brother, the father…James Joyce Mc Ewan, Father James…He's the actor's brother…A priest and friend of mine…Our chaplain, actually…" Dr. Benton smiled…Waving… "James!..." The priest smiling back with return wave…

"Older?...He looks younger than McEwan…" Howard stared…

"A McEwan family trait…" Dr. Benton smiled… "After 25, they all look younger each year until they hit 60 and turn into white-haired Tubby McEwans…"

"On that day I shall mourn…" Penny sighed…Staring after the handsome priest now heading off arm-in-arm with the young woman he'd been talking to…She pausing to offer her badge at the airlock entrance…The chamber door opening, then sealing behind them…

"You got my Trek reference…?" she grinned to Leonard…

"I also got that you're into handsome dark-haired Irish priests…" Leonard frowned…

"So?...Most guys would take that as a good thing…" Penny grinned… "Priest and all…Right, Bernie…?"

"I guess…Unless you've seen 'The Thorn Birds'…" Bernadette noted… "God, I had fantasies about doing that Cardinal for years after I saw that one…"

"She have you dress up in red robes and the hat…?" Leonard eyed Howard with grin…

"In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti…" Howard made the sign…Bernadette frowning…

"Hey, they were mostly Jews at the start, right?..." he smiled…

Amy staring… "He's chaplain here?...CERN has a chaplain?...A Catholic chaplain?..."

"Most of our scientists here if religious are Catholics, Dr. Fowler…This is continental Europe and just north of Italy after all…" Dr. Benton noted…

"And he's the actor's brother?...What a neat coincidence…" Leonard beamed…

"Too much of a coincidence…" Amy hissed to Sheldon…

"What?..." he stared back…

"That the priest chaplain here is the brother of the actor who played the evil priest in that movie…" Amy hissed… "Weren't you listening?..."

"Of course not…" Sheldon shrugged… "This is CERN…I have better things to contemplate than the routine chit-chat of my compadres…"

"Oooh…" Howard, listening… "Maybe the fiendish chaplain is planning to make off with the CERN antimatter and make himself Pope…" grin…

"James gets that a lot since the film…" Dr. Benton chuckled…


	2. Chapter 2

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part II…

"So you get it?..." Leonard eyed Penny…As the gang sat in the CERN café…Tour complete…

Ohhhh…As Leonard, Howard, Raj, Bernadette, and especially Sheldon, and even Penny would say…

At last…As Amy had said…Impatiently tapping her watch…

"The big question is how come there's more of one than the other…?" Penny, tentatively…

"Exactly…Why did matter win out over antimatter at the Big Bang if both quantities were initially identical?..."

Sheldon trembling as he listened…

"All right, Sheldon …" Leonard sighed… "Go on and release that pressure before you explode…"

"Thefundamentalquestionof

theearlyuniverseand

youreducingitto

'moreofonethantheother'

thoughactuallyfor

explainingitto

alaypersonlikePenny"

Gasp… "Not a bad way to put it…But you see that the universe as we know it, or even any universe, could not have come into existence if the two were identical in quantity…"

"Cause the warp core would go boom…" Penny finished…Sheldon frowning a moment, then…

Well…

"Actually, yes…Though the 'warp core' thing is ridiculous unless you're suggesting an experimental containment of matter and antimatter for purposes of re-creating…"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!..." Amy hollered…

"No experimental talk, yes ma'am…" Sheldon, meekly…

"Wait…" Amy sighed, hand on head…"Sweetheart, that was unfair of me…I don't want to nag you, Sheldon…I just really…Really…Want you…And my honeymoon…" Pleading look…

"And you will have us both, Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper…" Sheldon nodded… "And you're right…I'm pledged and will due my duty…"

"Great…" sigh…Glum look…

"And love doing it…" Sheldon, startling the others, especially a Penny about to reprimand him…

"Truly…Darling…" he put a hand on her shoulder… "I want to go and be with you…I really, truly do…Cause…"

Ahem… "You're Truly Scrumptious…You're truly, truly scrumptious…Scrumptious as a day has ever been…When your near us…It's so delicious…Honest Truly, you're the answer to my wishes…

Truly Scrumptious…

Allow me to be presumptuous…

Amy, never, never, ever go away…

My heart beats so unruly…Becaise I love you…Truly…

Honest…" hand raised over heart…Cross… "Amy…I do…" head to side…Smile…

"Oh…" Amy gasped, taking his hand… "Oh, Sheldon…You make me so happy…" she kissed his hand…

"Time to go friends…A romantic dinner for the Fowler-Coopers awaits…" he rose… "We shall see you tomorrow for breakfast as planned…" he offered Amy an arm…She rose…

"That's our boy, Leonard…" Penny, nudging him… "He's a good boy…"

"Please keep Sheldon informed as to how things go here…" Amy turned as they moved to the door… "It's fine for him to follow along…"

Eager nod from Sheldon out of her view…Pleading look…Turning back to beaming smile as Amy turned back to him…They reached the café door and headed out…

"Love is so beautiful… " Howard, weeping…

"Indeed…" a rich voice…The group at table turned to see the smiling face of Father James, the chaplain…

"Dr. Hofstadter?..." he addressed Leonard… "James McEwan…Pete Benton told me you'd come…Welcome…" he extended a hand, shaking Leonard's… "I'm an admirer of your work…And of Dr. Cooper's, who I see just allowed himself to be torn away from this place…"

"Amazingly yes…And thanks…This is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali., Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski,, Howard Wolowitz, and… "

"Dr. Penny Hofstadter…" Penny smiled brightly…Leonard staring…The remaining gang staring… "Please have a seat, Father…"

"If I may…Thanks…" he took a seat… "Are you Leonard's…."

"Fourth cousin…And fiancée…Isn't it nice?…Same last name…" she beamed…

"Ummn…Are you a physicist as well as a chaplain?..." Leonard asked…Eyeing Penny with frown…

What the…?

"By training, yes…And I keep up with it…I'm the Vatican liaison as well as chaplain…Meaning I spy for the Pope… " grin… "We try to keep up with what's going on so we can help our laity understand and see how there still can be a role for God in all this…Even to celebrate such a role…" smile…

"I can't get over how much you look like your brother…" Penny noted…

"Ah, Gregor…Yes…And I get a lot of teasing nowadays since his movie came out…" grin… "However I've assured His Holiness I've no designs on his office…And I think he believes me…At least he only keeps two Swiss guards with him when I visit to make reports…Howard Wolowitz?...You've designed components for the new Alpha system, haven't you?..."

"Guilty as charged…For the new experiments on kaon analysis and improved measurement of antihydrogen, yes…" Howard beamed…

"Everyone at the Alpha project is eager to test out the new components, I know…" Father James nodded… "The new capacity for intensive comparison of antihydrogen and hydrogen together could answer a lot of questions…"

"Not as eager as I am…" Howard…

"As we all are…" Penny, smiling…

"So you'll be involved in the experiments, Dr. Hofstadter?..." the priest smiled at Penny…

Penny Hofstadter…Leonard smiled… On the one hand…I like the way that rolls out…

On the other, what the hell…?

"Oh, you can believe it…" Penny nodded… "I'll be right by Leonard every step of the way…"

Hmmn?...Bernadette stared…

"Well, I've got to be off to hear confessions…And when it's scientists confessing, it can take a while…" grin… "I look forward to seeing you all again…" he rose…

"Good bye Father…Nice to meet you…Jesus, Penny?..." Leonard stared at her the second the Father was out of earshot…

"What the hell was that?...'Dr. Hofstadter'?..."

"Did you honestly believe that bullcrap I told Amy about being happy about leaving you here for the better part of three weeks?...After all we just went through with Charlotte, then Prince Faisal?..." she stared back at him… "Now either you can play along or you can go tell a priest I lied to him…" smug smile…

"But you don't have clearance…" he tried…

"I spoke to Peter…Why do you think I kept up with him during the tour?…He said I was welcome to come along with you, if you're fine with it…"

"But…" Bernadette, frowning… "I thought we were going to do the rounds…Stores, skiing?.."

"Plenty of time for that on the days the boys promised to be free…" Penny noted…

"Greater love hath no woman than she should give up two weeks of Swiss stores, skiing, spas, chocolate, and cheese to sit in a lab listening to her fian…boyfriend…Talk Physics…Just to be with him…" she smiled…

"Will you marry me?..." Leonard asked… Howard and Bernadette staring…

"Yes…Thanks…" she nodded…

"I promise I'll do it right later…Maybe I can get them to let me kneel on the collider?..." Leonard noted…

"You bet you will…And there'll be flowers and a ring…From a computer you built or something if you have one, like Amy's…" she eyed him…

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part III…

Help me…I'm a stranger in Paradise…

All lost in a wonderland…A stranger in Paradise…

Howard sighed at the Antihydrogen Laser PHysics Apparatus (ALPHA) controls before him…

"Oh…I have waited all my life for you beauties…"

Buzz…Barry White… "Can't Get Enough of Your Love…"

He blinked…

"Amy…?" he looked at his phone…

"Have you activated yet?..." she asked…

"Still two hours…" he shook his head… "I couldn't wait…Sheldon getting antsy?..."

"No, he's been wonderful…Not a peep of a request…" she beamed… "I just want to get a report for him…Can you lean to one side so I can get a video of the controls in pre-activation stage?…"

"Sure…" lean… "Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper, you're quite a woman…" grin…

"So I now get told constantly…By my adoring mate…" she smiled…

"Can't be enough…And you tell him so…"

"When he wakes for his morning bowel movement…Lean a bit more please…?"

"All right, 'Dr. Hofstadter'..." Leonard eyed Penny…She like him in lab coat…Unnecessary?...Hmmn…She does squint a lot….Glasses…Perched on her bunned hair…

"Shall we go over today's experimental protocol?..."

"Ready, Dr. H…" she nodded…Pulling up clipboard…Pulling down glasses with determined air…

"Those really are your glasses, aren't they…?" Leonard stared…

"Yeah…New…I got the prescription just before we left…How'd you know?..."

"You didn't jump when you pulled them down and couldn't see properly…Dead giveaway…"

"Well…You got me…I'm a nearsighted four-eyes now…But it is another bonding thing…Moonpie…" she smiled…

"Thanks, Amy Farrah Hofstadter…"

"And don't think I wasn't a little worried after that wedding…" she eyed him…

"Every right to be…Sheldon Cooper is a lucky so-and-so…As is Leonard Hofstadter…"

"Yeah…Welll…" she beamed… "Leonard…I gotta tell you…" she came close…Leaning to whisper… "I love saying 'Penny Hofstadter'…It makes me feel so Sheldony…"

"Ok, now this is getting creepy…" he noted… "Can we get to it?..."

"Darned tootin'…Dr. H…You are the love of my life, Leonard…"

"If I'm your fiancée, I'd better be, 'Dr.' H…Now, item one…"

"Howard…Howard…Howard…" whisper…

"Hello, Sheldon…" Howard's face on Sheldon's phone…"Greetings from the ALPHA lab…How goes the morning bowel movement?..."

"Please lower the volume of your voice to match mine…And raise your speaking tone an octave…Amy's asleep in the bedroom and I don't want her to know I've called you…"

"Naughty, naughty…" Howard on screen, twitching finger… "You don't deserve the trust that woman puts in you…"

"Oh, now…I just wanted to see…Ohhh…" Sheldon gasped as Howard leaned to the side…

"Behold the Crell wonders…ALPHA in all her glory…"

"Time to initiation?..."

"One hour, twenty-five minutes…Leonard's with Penny in the main lab reviewing the monitor settings…While I am at the belly of the beast and the heart of antihydrogen darkness…" Howard beamed… "And Raj is taking up his observation post at the data room…"

"Oh Lord, why dost thou tempt me so?..." Sheldon sighed…

"Sheldon, you know we'll keep you informed…Every detail…" Howard, kindly… "Complete with videos…Believe me…And do right by that wonderful girl of yours…Please…Take the advice of a friend, if you'll allow me…What you have in that other room is a million times more precious than the antihydrogen I'm about to capture and analyse…Go and take a look and you'll know I'm right…Don't blow this, Sheldon…"

"You're right…" sigh… "I must go…But you are a friend, Howard…Or Sir Howard as Amy would say…"

"Thanks, buddy…And Sheldon…You are here with us in spirit…"

"And on the papers…"

"Naturally…Wolowitz, out…"

"Wait…"

"Yeah?..."

"Isn't Bernadette…?"

"She decided to come later…See things once they're underway…Not much to see now really…"

"I see…Howard?..."

"Still here, Sheldon…"

"You deserve to be happy…Good luck, my friend…With everything important…"

"Thanks, Sheldon…Now get back in that sack…"

"Oh…You know the reason they call it a sack…"

"Bye, Sheldon…"

CERN chapel…

"I'm really sorry to bother you so early, Father…It was nice of you to meet me…"

"Not at all, Bernadette, is it?...If I may…?" Father James eyed the woman seated…

"Sure…Yes…Ummn…I'm a Catholic…"

"As am I…" smile… "I rather got that yesterday…We give off vibes, I think…"

"Really?...Oh…"

"So what can I do for you, child…?"

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned…" she looked up at him, tears…


	3. Chapter 3

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part IV…

Amy, hair spread on pillow, head raised on hand, elbow cocked in support, eyed a blinking Sheldon from their honeymoon suite king-sized bed…

"No irregularities in your bowel movements?...You exceeded your normal time by fifteen minutes…"

"Just a bit of difficulty…Perhaps a bit too much of the Swiss cheese experience last night…"

"And how is Howard?...Is the countdown proceeding well?..." she stared, narrow-eyed, then grinning at his sheepish look…

"It's all right…I'm rather touched that you didn't go running off to CERN while I slept…" she beamed… "Besides, I spoke to him even earlier…I got video…" she noted…

"Sorry…Really?...Video?..."

"The whole pre-activation sequence…Howard ran through it for me…It's right here…" she patted her cell phone… "I know how much you want to be there, Sheldon…And I really appreciate it, moonpie…Besides, I'm not without scientific curiosity here, either…Come and have a look…And, perhaps a look at other things of possible interest…" she filted with the folds of her nightgown…

"Thank you, Jesus…" he breathed… "And if you will promise never to let Leonard know, no…Not as my mother would say…As I say…Mrs. Fowler-Cooper…" he paused… "You are without doubt even more complex in mystery than the matter/anti-matter balance conundrum …Amy…The video can wait…That's what recording devices are for…" he noted…Hurrying over, climbing in to her…She beaming, head lowered in delighted shyness…Oh, Sheldon…

"Lord…You have any idea how seductive that Fowler cackle is…?" he grinning as he stroked her hair…

"Obviously…As it would have been bred out otherwise, given the prolific sexuality of Fowler women…" she grinned…

"Thirty minutes…And counting…" Leonard eyed a monitor…

"You know, I'm really starting to feel it…" Penny grinned… "This experiment stuff can be a rush…Even if there's no building sound of the supermotor reactor thing charging up…"

"Oh, we have that…In a bit…" Leonard, archly… "Howard's promised a 'woo,woo, Woo, Woo' build-up…"

"Wow…" Penny, squealing…"Het-hmmn…" firm reposition of glasses… "And God, I feel so smart with these…You know I might want a few more Physics lectures when we get home…" she took up her clipboard… "Dr. Hofstadter…Item twenty-seven, verify magnetic coil coolant level stable, check…"

"Thank you, Dr. Hofstadter…" Leonard nodded…

Buzz…

"That's odd…My cell shouldn't work here now anyway…Amy?..." he eyed the phone…

"Just wanted to verify it was ok by me…How's it going?…" she asked… "Sheldon?...The frequency change worked, I've got Leonard…"

"Leonard?...Amy verified?..."

"Yeah…Ummn…Are you two in bed?..."

"Can't get more romantic than watching an ALPHA test run on the fundamental particles of the early universe from the bed of your honeymoon suite passion pit…" Amy noted…"Penny?..."

Nudge to Sheldon…All the times we've had to deal with that man in various bedroom encounters with Penny, Priya, and most recent my own sister in a rollaway bed?...And he's embarrassed to see us like this?... "And I'm not even wearing a Lt. Uhura outfit…" she noted, whisper…

Reproving look…

"Dr. bestie Fowler-Cooper…" Penny, solemn look… "Glad you could make it to our first experimental run…The implications for mankind's knowledge of the early universe being so profound…"

"Nice glasses…" Amy grinned… "Tres sexy…"

"And I got Leonard's steamy breath on them to prove it…" Penny nodded… "At last, I get the cachet of these things…Plus I actually need them…" shrug…

"Hmmn…Now if you'd told me we could do it in the experimental lab during the experimental runs, Sheldon…" Amy teased…Looking over to him…

Actually, rolling over to him, Leonard noted…Blinking…

Cackle…

Whoa…I've heard that cackle before…Leonard, nervously…

"Hey…Strictly professional here, Doctor…" Penny, solemnly…

And you, mister…Stop trying to not look down Amy's robe…She hissed to Leonard… When you should be red-facedly trying not to look down my lab coat cleveage…

"Of course…" Amy nodded…Equally solemn… "And congrats on getting successfully smuggled in…Stores and skiing, eh?..."

"Sorry for the deception, bestie…I just didn't want to give Sheldon any ideas that might ruin things for your time together…But…One must follow one's heart…Not to mention passing as 'Dr. Hofstadter, female' is great for my career…" Penny, grinning…

"Sheldon?...Any problems?...I see you reading all the instrument panels…" Leonard, grinning…

"None that I can see…You might want to adjust the magnetic flow on the hydrogen retention chamber 0.01 percent…"

"Dr. Hofstadter?..." Penny eyed Leonard…

"Sounds good…Dr. H…Will do, Sheldon…"

"Check…" Penny made note on her clipboard…

"Afraid we're losing signal…We'll be in touch…Fowler-Coopers out…" Sheldon noted…Closing phone…

"We didn't lose signal…" Amy eyed him…

"No, we didn't…Did we?..." he smiled…

"Why Sheldon Lee Cooper…" she eyed him…

Cackle…

"It's very nice of you to give me so much time, Father…" Bernadette sighed…Wiping eyes…

"Not at all, Bernadette…Here…" the priest offered a tissue from a box on the small table in his chapel office where she sat across from him… "I know this is a bit more than the standard absolution, but we do offer counseling here…"

"I appreciate it…I've needed to talk to someone and I've been ashamed to discuss this with my friends…I know they'll try to understand but they can't really…Even Penny, for all her experience….I didn't say that…" pause…Eyeing…

"I understand…"

"Thanks…She has never done…What I did…" sob…

"Well…Bernadette…" James sighed… "Do you love Howard?..."

"Yes…I do…I love him…But…" she looked down… "I can't help having these feelings for Rajesh…Truth is, Father…I thought Howard was more sexually experienced…That he'd be able to deal with something like this and wait till I was over it…But he's really quite naïve…Kinda innocent, for all his posturing…"

"And you're over it?...Or no?..."

"I don't know…Oh…I sound like such a terrible person…I know I'm being unfair, making excuses for my behavior…"

"You're not a terrible person…Sweetheart…You can't help feeling as you do…"

"Actually, with my friend Amy's help…I could…But it would involve fairly delicate nerve destruction, a permanent loss of erotic sensitivity, possible loss of intellectual faculties, and very likely, hefty weight gain…"

"Well, regardless…You are not a terrible person, Bernadette…Believe me, as an Irish priest now working in the heart of continental Europe I have heard stories that would make your hair stand on end and curl…And the authors receive absolution and go home and sleep quite soundly…With the mates they've wronged…You're simply human, Doctor…And God understands human frailty, girl…"

"Even Sheldon Cooper has more consideration for his mate than I do…Father, what's wrong with me?...Why can't I be faithful to the man I love?...Or even make up my mind as to the man I love…?"

"Well…Perhaps you and Howard need time apart…Have you spent time apart?..."

"Well, duh…OH!…Sorry, Father!…But I tole you, we'd split up for several weeks before Amy's sister tried to put the bag on Sheldon…"

"Yes, certainly…But that didn't involve this matter, correct?...Howard didn't know?..."

"Yeah.."

"Well, perhaps a separation clearly aimed at you both thinking this through and coming to a decision on what you both want could help…Doesn't have to be a long one…Merely a few days to clear your minds…"

"I guess…" uncertain… "I'll see what he thinks…"

"Moonpie…?"

"Huh…?" Sheldon, wheezing slightly…Flat on bed, face upturned to ceiling…

Oh, Lord…Truly, thank you Jesus…

"Five minutes to initialization…Do you want me to get Howard on?..."

"Hmmn?...What?...Oh, right…Well, you probably can't cut through the magnetic interference now…"

"I'll try frequency shifts via the laptop hook-in…"

"Ok…" he continued staring…My God the feel of those deliciously soft…

"Ok…Adjusting…I'll let it run through…Oh…Can my sister spend a couple of days with us?..." hastily…

"What?..." he turned head, looking at her innocent expression…

"Charlotte?...Here?..."

That serpent in our Swiss Garden of Eden?...However reformed…And by our invite?...

"I sort of…Offered…And…Promised you'd be ok with it…" sheepish look… "Actually she's on her way…"

"What?..."

"You're beginning to acquire Leonard's habit of repeating the obvious, dearest…I see I didn't get you out of that relationship a moment too soon…"

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part V…

"Hofstadter…(s)…" Dr. Benton, just in, grinned at the pair…Nodding to Penny who beamed back…

Thanks…

"Everything set?..."

"We're ready for test 1, Dr. Benton…" Leonard nodded… "Just about to initiate…"

"Don't let me interrupt…" Benton nodded… "Hello, Mr. Wolowitz…" he eyed the lab's monitor on which Howard could be seen at his control station…

"Dr. Benton…"

"You've met Dr. Christos…" Benton smiled, hand raised in greeting to the same dark-haired woman the gang had seen with Father James the other day, now seated next to Howard…

"Indeed…" Howard nodded…Dr. Christos smiling…

Looks like our other boy, the former juvenile delinquent, is behaving himself…So far…Penny eyed Leonard…

"Well, good luck…But remember it's just the first time out for you…Go easy the first thousand anti-hydrogens…" Benton grinned…

"Low gear all the way…" Howard nodded… "Are we set, Angela?..."

"Looks green across the panel…Magnetic field is stable…" she nodded…

"Raj?...Raj, you all set?..." Leonard addressed the monitor which split to reveal Raj at his data station…Waving…

"Hello Mission Control…" he grinned… "We are go for launch…" thumbs up…

Penny grinning to Leonard, eagerly shaking fists…Oh!…Yeah!

"Ok…One minute…Final checks…Antiproton Decelerator?..." Leonard…

"Go…" Penny, curtly…

"Octapule…?"

"Go…"

"Annihilation detector?..."

Het-hemm…From monitor…

"Right, Howard…Annihilation Detector with Wolowitz modification…"

"ADWM… 'Adwam', if you like…" Howard beamed…

"Go…" Penny, firmly…

"Starting initiation sequence…Ten-nine-eight…" Howard, counting, on monitor in Penny and Leonard's lab…On Leonard's open phone, with occasional static, to Sheldon and Amy's 'passion pit'…

"Wow…" Penny listened to the building sound… "You were right, Leonard…That's like a blast-off…"

"…four-three-two-ONE!...Initiation!…"

"What is that?...Wait…" Sheldon called, from Leonard's phone… "That is a blast-off…That's the Jupiter2 from 'Lost In Space' lifting off…"

"I thought it appropriate for the occasion…" Howard beamed…Holding up an Ipod player…Angela smiling…

"Just as long as there's no Dr. Smith stowed away on board…" Sheldon frowned at the phone…

"Sheldon, it's just for a few days…And Charlotte needs our support and trust…" Amy sighed… "I don't want to invoke it here, but the Marital Agreement clearly states that I can have family members visit in times of emotional necessity on less than 24 hours' notice…"

"Whoa…" Howard…Leonard… Penny…Leonard and Penny staring at phone…

"Howard?..." Dr. Christos eyed him…

"Right…" he turned back to the controls… "Field is stable, we should see antihydrogen formation shortly…What the frack?...Charlotte's here?..." choking at end…

"She's better…You all said she was very good at the wedding…" Amy, anxiously… "And she's stayed on Gran's anti-anxiety prescription…"

"Ok, lets focus on what's important here…" Penny noted… "Leonard?..." she handed him the ckpboard…Grabbing phone… "Amy?...You let her come and didn't tell us?...What the hell were you thinking?..."

"Little family trouble…" Leonard explained to Benton… "The system seems to be running very well so far…"

"Hey!..." Sheldon's sharp cry…Leonard staring over…Penny looking startled…Benton looking…

"Anyway…" Leonard tried to resume… "Howard?...What's the formation rate?..." Eyeing Penny, nodding to urge she move off with the phone…

"Sorry…Excuse me…Family thing…Go antiproton deceleration!..." Penny, politely…Taking phone to corner…

"Oh, now, Amy…" Penny… "I didn't mean to make you cry…"

"Just watch how you speak to my missus, missy…" Sheldon's annoyed voice… "If she wants to invite her sister to see her, that's her right under our Marital Agreement…"

"Sheldon….Charlotte nearly killed you both…Amy, I didn't mean to upset you…" Penny sighed…

"It's just that she was so anxious to hear how things were going…And I'm worried about her progress…I just want to know she's ok…She just finished a chemo cycle for her fibromas, you know…I've got my sister back at last and I don't want to chance losing her for lack of support…" anxious sigh… "She didn't ask…I invited her…And you did all say…"

"I know…" Penny, rubbing forehead… "And she was very nice and uncrazy in Maine and for the wedding when she came back…But Amy…"

"I won't let her stay if she seems antsy with Sheldon again…But I really think she's accepted him as big brother Sheldon…No longer romantic fixation Sheldon…None of you have to see her…" Amy…

"Though she asks about all of you…She really does regret what happened…"

"Honey…" Penny sighed… "You know I love you…And trust your judgment… But Charlotte's fooled you before…"

"Amy asked her…I think it will be all right…" Sheldon cut in… "And she's right, you don't have to see her…"

"Antihydrogen!...Bingo!..." Howard's cry…

"Yay!..." Penny joined in Leonard's and Howard's cheer… "Ok…Look…She was all right in Maine and at the wedding…If you really think this will help her…I'll go along…"

"Thank you …" Amy, beaming smile on phone…Sheldon nodding…Mouthing 'Thanks'…Just behind…

"Congratulations, Howard!..." Amy called…

"Yes, but what's the collection rate?…" Sheldon asked…

"Give it a minute…" Howard… "Amy?...Penny?..." he waved for her to bring the phone close to the monitor… "Look, Amy …If you're sure…It's ok with me…She was very nice during the time at your grandma's farm and she was fine as bridesmaid at the wedding…And she did seem sad to leave us…I guess as long as she's still behaving herself…I can let bygones and torture be bygones…"

"Howard…Thank you so much…" Amy, tearfully…

"Thank you, Howard…" Sheldon nodded… "As Husband and Brother respectively to the Fowler ladies, I appreciate the magnanimous gesture…"

"No problem…Mr. Fowler…"

"And very proud I am to be welcomed into that fine clan…" Sheldon beamed… "Thank you again, all…I'm grateful…I know Amy here was very anxious to have your approval…Well, we'll check in again after a brief intermission for husbandly comforting…Fowler-Coopers out…" The phone went blank…

"You know…It isn't even fun to tease him about it now… I feel more protective toward him and Amy now than anything else…" Howard sighed on monitor to Leonard…"There goes a lucky man happy with the favor of the gods…"

"I almost miss old self-centered Sheldon, a little…" Leonard sighed… "But you're right…He's the one of luckiest so-and-sos in the known universe and the stunning thing is he actually knows it and appreciates it…And so do I, being one as well…" smile at Penny now resuming her post…My clipboard, Dr. Hofstadter?...Arch look…

"You're a good man, Howard Wolowitz…" she smiled at him… "Take care of him in there…He's a lamb…" she smiled to Dr. Christos on screen…

"So where are our antihydrothings?..." she eyed Leonard…

"A book of Yiddish jokes beneath the bough…A magnetic jug of antihydrogen…And…" Howard eyed Angela… "Thou…"

"Seriously, " he pulled up 'One Thousand and One Yiddish Jokes For Any Occasions'… Angela grinning…Brushing hair back…

"You come prepared, Mr. Wolowitz…100 particles and rising…Magnetic containment is stable…" she eyed the panels before her…

"It's just…I thought you might appreciate it…You are one of us, despite the name, I take it…?"

"Oh?..." she eyed him…

"I saw your necklace at our last briefing…The words…Or, is that just something you picked up…It's true I've not heard of many nice Jewish girls named Christos, but this is the continent of necessary name-changing…And in Italy I imagine that would be pretty necessary…"

"On my mother's side…Though I am a Catholic by upbringing…Very observant…"

"It's 'Timshel', right?...If I remember my Hebrew school…And I do have a facility for languages…"

"Yes…1000 particles…"

"Thou Mayest…Cute…Great, we're starting to roll…"

Perhaps, in more ways than one?...He contemplated the lovely brown eyes facing his…

"Very observant indeed…How long were you looking?...Or thou mayest not, by the way…" slight frown… "It implies a choice…"

"Right…God's words to Cain, or something like that…"

"Comfort to the damned…And hope…It implies that Cain can choose to redeem himself…" she noted…

"Nice…Hmmn….Leonard?...Keep an eye on the decelerator, will you?..." he spoke to the monitor…

"Say, if I may ask…You're very chummy with the chaplain…"

"Excuse me?..." stare…

"I just mean we saw you with him the other day…"

"James is a good friend…My priest…And a fine physicist in his own right…We've worked together on a number of projects…"

"I hope you didn't take it the wrong way…I'm just interested…I don't know many priestly physicists..."

"Or many Catholic girl ones?..." Angela smiled…

"I've met a few of those…" Howard grinned…

"But your…Fiancee?...Isn't…?"

"Not a physicist no…And currently, not a fiancée, actually…Holding steady at 5000 particles under stable containment, decelerator shutdown…Beginning containment stability check…"

"Oh?...I thought…"

"We were…Not as sure right now…" he noted…

"And here I was told you were a lamb…" she smiled at him…

"Not always, to be honest…But I try…Right now though, it's she who's thinking things out…"

"While you wait patiently…With a book of Yiddish jokes and the said jug and a handy girl?..."

"Maybe not so patiently as I should…" he shrugged… "But I was only trying to break the ice a little…No offense intended…"

"None taken…" Angela shook her head… "How patiently…?"

"Excuse me?..." blink…

"I mean…Are you allowed to see other people?...Even other Catholic girls?...While you're waiting?..."

"Howard?..." Leonard on screen…Penny, all-business here, bucko look, beside him… "Stability check?..."

"Containment holding steady…No slippage…" nod… "Excuse me?..." he turned to Angela's smiling face…


	4. Chapter 4

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part VI…

"So when do we have enough to go all 'rule the world' crazy…?" Penny grinned…Adjusting glasses while peering at herself in a blank monitor screen…

Ok…The motivation here is mad…And scientist…A little Sheldon, a little Amy at the lab…Maybe a little Amy going wild on girls' night?...Or better yet, some Charlotte?…Yeah, I sure could see her in the part of mad scientist threatening the world…Big climax at the UN with Sheldon in one hand and the antimatter thingy in the other…Tom Hanks playing Leonard…

Maybe I better never say it to Amy, but boy, playing her crazed sister would be the role of a lifetime…

"Well, if we had the trapping efficiency of some experiments, we could reasonably hope to corral 1% of the particles generated and at that rate we'd have enough to threaten to blow up the Vatican like in the movie in about…300 billion years, give or take…" Leonard, eyeing monitors… "As for powering the USS Enterprise, probably a leetle longer…"

"And of course you'd need a portable containment system…" Benton, behind them, grinned… "Which given the need to keep these things at almost literally absolute zero in an incredibly delicate magnetic field would make it difficult to pack it into a briefcase…But when Zephran Cochran shows up, I'm sure he'll come up with something…"

"Ok…Funny guys…" Penny grinned… "But this is still gonna let you compare the anti- and the regular, right?…And see if they're different in some special way?…And that's the big deal…?"

"In a perfect nutshell…" Benton nodded…

"Hmmn…So somewhere there's an anti-Penny?...Exactly like me but anti?...And we'd blow up if we met…?" she looked at them…

"Theoretically there could be…" Leonard nodded… "But, far more likely you'd encounter various slightly to dramatically different timeline normal matter Pennys before you'd meet anti-Penny, if she exists…"

"Then again you could all be figments of my sleeping but incredibly active six-year old imagination…" Sheldon's voice from reactivated phone…

Hi all…Amy waving, beaming, beside Sheldon, both up close to phone screen…Clearly the "husbandly comforting" having accomplished its objective…

"How's it going?..." she asked… "Apart from the descent into irrational speculation, that is…?"

"We held about 5000 particles for up to 10 seconds…" Leonard beamed… "Not bad for a first run…Raj is analyzing the spectral data with his group now…"

"And Father James didn't show up and gouge our eyes out to steal 'em…" Penny noted… "Just kidding…" she eyed Dr. Benton who grinned…

"Believe me James gets far worse from us…"

"Sorry if I seemed to jump to conclusions about him yesterday…I just found it such an odd coincidence…And I had watched the movie three times on the plane over…" Amy noted on screen…

"Speakin' of odd coincidences…" Penny eyed the image on the phone… "Nice nightie, by the way, girl friend…"

"My choice…"She grinned to Leonard who nodded to express proper admiration as Amy shyly beamed… "…when is sis due in?..."

"Tomorrow…And thanks again…" Amy, winsome smile… "I know your trusting her a little will mean a lot to her…"

"Sure…" Penny nodded…"Just as long as you submit to tests when she leaves so we'll know she hasn't replaced you or something…"

"Certainly…Considering we have some resemblance and she could always have done the 'Gattaca' thing with her legs in reverse…"

Eehew…Leonard blinked… "I'll explain it later…" he noted to a puzzled Penny…

"Little running joke they have with Amy's sister Charlotte…" he smiled a bit lamely at the equally puzzled Benton…

"Charlotte Fowler?..." Benton asked…

Oh, don't tell me…Might've known she'd tried scooping up some guys or some antimatter or both here before battling Amy…Leonard sighed…Feeble smile as Benton eyed him…

"Yeah, Dr. Charlotte Fowler…I take it you know her…?" As probably does every other male here…

"In fact Sheldon and I have a battery of infallible tests prepared…" Amy, nodding to Penny from the phone screen…

"Bazinga?..." Penny eyed her…

"No, that's for jokes, bestie…I love Charlotte and want to believe I can trust her but with Sheldon and the rest of you I take no unnecessary chances…Fortunately we already have complete genetic maps for the two of us for Sheldon to compare…"

"Yes…I met her while she was vacationing in Italy a couple of years ago and took our tour here…" Benton smiled to Leonard… "Very sweet lady…"

"Oh, yeah…" Leonard, feebly…

"We had DNA samples from the silverware she used at the wedding analyzed along with mine…" Amy explained to Penny…

"Really?..." Leonard stared…Probably not a bad idea at that…

"Back in a moment…" Benton, to Leonard… "I see I'm being perpetually emailed on a couple of administrative details…I'll need to step out to place a call…Wish you'd let me know how Cooper's phone is managing to get through to you?..."

"Nice…" Penny nodded to Amy's image…

"Little frequency manipulation…I'll get the details from Sheldon later…" Leonard explained to Benton…Who nodded and left the lab a moment later…

"Of course there's always the possibility that Charlotte replaced Amy a year or two ago and the one we encountered was an actress playing Charlotte to mislead us…" Leonard noted, grinning to Penny…

"Which possibility we ruled out by obtaining young Amy's dental records which we've checked…" Sheldon noted…To Penny's stare… "When dealing with an IQ of 189, even if a reformed supervillainess…One should take proper precautions…" shrug…

"Yeah…Crazy but I guess I see the point…" Penny shook her head… "But if this is Charlotte…" she grinned at Amy… "… and she's been with you from the start of things, then wouldn't the real Amy have to be…"

"Either dead, imprisoned, or so crazed she paradoxically took the role of Charlotte on and I'm playing along…Kinda makes ya wonder, eh…Bestie?..." Amy's image grinned…

"Oh…I hate paradoxes…" Leonard sighed… "I hate them when Sheldon goes on about alternate timeline Sheldons popping in and taking his place and spends the week trying to convince me he's alternate Sheldon to prove his point…And I hate 'em when Raj starts in about alternative Raj the smooth-talking ladies' man who still can't get the girl of his dreams…I don't even care about lactose-tolerant alternate Leonard and his loving, cuddling earth mother mother…"

"What…?" Amy's face staring off on screen… "Sheldon, I was only joking…You know I'm Amy…Sheldon, wait!...Excuse me, friends, I think I have to talk my husband out of the bathroom…Sheldon, I'll give you another blood sample if you like…" phone went blank…

"So tell me about this lactose-tolerant twin without neuroses…" Penny smiled at Leonard… "Is he taller…?"

"5000 particles for 10 seconds…Yep…A nice first run…" Howard, attempting to sound nonchalant…

"Very nice…A little above predicted expectation…So?...About my question…?" Angela eyed him…Fixing him with her brown eyes like one of his boyhood butterflies on a pin…

"I agree…We could go ahead and extend the deceleration cycle by an additional 30 seconds on the next run…I don't see a need to wait…"

"My other question, Howard..."

"Right…Uh…Hmmn…"

"Howard?..." Leonard came on the monitor in front of him…

Phew…Never thought I'd be so relieved to see that little hobbit's face…

"Yo…"

"Are you holding the magnetic field?...You can let the particles go now…Congrats on a great first test…"

"Thanks…" Hmmn?...He eyed the instrument panel… "Angela, I'm reading the fields decaying but not shutting down completely…"

"Must be getting stimulation from the decaying particles…" she noted…Reviewing her screen… "It's settling down but more slowly than we expected…"

"Wait…" Leonard's voice…His expression intent… "Yeah, I confirm that…Howard, the reaction is providing some degree of self-containment…"

"Is this…?" Penny eyed the returned Benton who nodded…

"Potentially, very…"

"Ok, 'degree of self-containment'…" she hastily wrote on her clipboard…

"Ok, the field is down, particles are annihilated…" Leonard reviewed his panel…

"Confirming that…" Angela…

"Very nice…A definite bottoming out…" Howard, eagerly… "We'll have to see just what happened, but interesting…"

"Ok, once you shut down and send the instrument logs to Raj, lets meet up there…" Leonard suggested…

"Sounds good…"

"Hofstadter out…" Leonard's face and Penny's behind him vanished from the screen as it went dark…

"Be neat if it's true…"Howard noted… "If it's natural for the particles at a certain critical number to provide their own supportive magnetic fluctuations as they encounter matter, a sort of protective repulsion…We might be able to incorporate that into our containment scheme…"

"Yes…And quite a thing if we can confirm it…"Angela eyed him… "But you still haven't answered my other question…" delicate hand on his slightly trembling hand…

Uh… He eyed her look…Just a touch of pleading…Feeling the scrap of paper she'd managed to slip dexterously into his palm…Her smile unfading…Slight seductive look to face likewise belying the pleading flash…

"Well, think about it…You know where my office is…" she pulled away…

Ummn… O…K…He kept his hand closed…

True we are still likely being monitored on an intermittent basis from observers and security…

And far more likely a beautiful, part-Jewish Catholic scientist of the female persuasion has some other need for me than rabid sexual desire…A need not wise to express where we could be monitored by anyone interested…

Right…As in…My cousin needs a green card?...How are job opportunities are Cal Tech these days?...He casually let his hand fall and carefully slipped the paper into his pocket…Angela busy reviewing the instrument shutdown protocol with another monitoring station…

Still nothing wrong with letting the guys know about this at our next all-male rendezvous…With suitable editing…

Dr. Benton having headed off to attend to other duties, Leonard swung his chair to eye Penny…

"So what do you think that was?..."

"Successful temporary containment of low-energy antihydrogen with variable magnetic moments?..." she asked, archly…

"You know what I mean…And yes, very good…" he grinned… "That Angela was putting the moves on Howard, don't you think…?"

"'You haven't answered my…Other question?'…" Penny quoting, putting hand gently on his… Leonard eyeing it…

She's a better actress than I ever realized…

"Well, duh, yeah…" Penny pulled back hand… "Though she was overdoing it a bit…And she must've known they'd be picked up on camera…"

"Well, there's a lot of monitoring here for safety and security, she's probably used to it…But do you think she actually…?"

"Howard's not unattractive when not being an ass…And he's been fairly un-assy lately…But come on…" Penny shook her head… "She's way outta his league…"

"Excuse me?..."

"I just mean…There's gotta be more at work here…Do they know each other?..."

"Not really…Calls and emails but he never mentioned any relationship with her…And I could point out, I'm outta your league…"

"Big time…" she nodded, grinning… "But I had to spend time with you, you living across the hallway and that gave you an edge…But that's what I mean…There'd have to be something for her to be that interested in Howard…I don't say it's impossible…Just, he'd need an edge…"

"Remind to remember our landlord and his children in my will for giving me 'an edge'…"

"Definitely…But that'll be our will…" she nodded…Grinning…

"Well…" Leonard pondered… "He is an American…And based at CalTech…That's gotta have some cachet…"

"And wasn't there something about him catching she was Jewish or part…?" Penny noted…

"You were paying attention…I didn't catch that…"

"She had some kind of Jewish symbol or something he recognized on her necklace…Anyway, that could be part of it…A nice Jewish boy from America with steady job?...Still…"

"You aren't gonna give him a hard time about this?..." Leonard, hesitant… "I know it's typical Howard and you like Bernadette and all, but it looked like it was Angela who did the…"

"Nah…I'll let him be…Like you say, he didn't actually initiate from what we could rudely spy…" she put up a hand… "Though this American angle worries me…Maybe she's a golddigger?..."

"Not Angela Christos…" Leonard shook head… "She could work anywhere and almost certainly makes a lot more than he does, even in Europe…Who knows, maybe she just does like him…"

"Hmmn…Maybe…Lets hope she's not crazy…He does seem to do it for crazy superintelligent brunettes almost as well as Sheldon…Tell me what he says when you meet him…I know he won't tell me…"

"What?...Violate the sacred confessional of males in cloister?..." Leonard grinned…

"In…?" she eyed him…Blinking…

"Guys hanging out together…When we herd, it's supposed to be zipped lips to our lady firiends…C'mon I know you must do the same thing with Bernie and Amy…"

"Oh…Well…It's strictly for his protection…Sides, your loyalties are now to me, not the herd…And if you promise to spill, I'll let you know more as to why I'm not on the phone telling him he's being a jerk, Bernadettewise…" shrewd look… "My loyalties now being to you, rather than my posse…" grin…

"Really…I never knew that came as part of the Fiancee Agreement…" he beamed… "But I know he and Bernie haven't fully patched things yet…"

"Yeah…But that's not all…" she smiled quietly…Just a touch of bittersweet sadness…

"Ok, I promise to spill when he gives it all away while trying to tell us a lot of crap about his new 'special lady'…What do you know…Bestie?..." he eyed her with grin…

"OK…But this is couple-only, in the vault, I swear I will break your ring of power finger if you talk, top secret…" she sighed…"I mean it, provisional fiancée…"

"Vaulted, forgotten on hearing…Spill, fiancée…"

"She and Raj…Maine…Blueberry patch…" hard stare…

"No…" he stared… "After she promised…?"

"I nearly stepped on them running from a bee…While I was keepin' an eye on Charlotte…"

"I can't believe it…What did she say?..."

"Believe it…I have the sting to prove it…And she said 'Oh…Penny…' after 'Oh…Rajesh…'…"

"Oh my God…But what does it mean?..."

Frown… "Leonard… C'mon…"

"Yeah, I got the sex part…But I mean…As far as she and Howard?...Did she say anything else?..."

"'Please don't tell Howard'…?"

"Oh, no…" he shook his head… "Why didn't you tell me?..."

"Wasn't in fiancée mode then…Girl friend loyalty took pres…And she asked me not to…But I wanted you to understand why I wasn't running over to yell at Howard just now…"

"Well, is she dumping him?...Raj swore to me it was over between him and her…"

"She said so, too…But it sure didn't look like it in Maine and it sure don't look like it now…At least at her end…I don't think the girl can make up her mind, Leonard…"

"Poor Howard…Does he know?..."

"She hasn't told him, if that's what you mean…As far as him knowing…Yeah, he knows…" Penny nodded… "Even pre-Bernie Howard would catch on and new and matured Howard knew before she did…"

"But he seemed to be giving it a chance…"

"New and matured, Leonard…Doing the kind, gentlemanly thing giving the lady the benefit of the doubt till she decides…Stranger things have happened in our little clan recently…If I may refer you to a certain self-absorbed genius who nearly died for love?..."

"Sheldon was pretty amazing…"

"Screw Cooper, I mean you…You were hanging on that building too…And Sheldon's heart wasn't the only one that nearly stopped then…" she smiled…Then put head against his arm… "And God…Don't you ever scare me like that again, unless you get that magic lantern or ring or whatever that makes it impossible for ten-story falls to hurt you…"

"If you two have finished supplying my wife…And me… With enough gossip to swear us off for the next year…" Sheldon's voice from the phone…

"I'd say we weren't listening but I'm married to George Washington here…" Amy's sigh…


	5. Chapter 5

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part VII…

Data review…Where Raj and various CERN personnel were engaged in going over the data from the first test run…

Penny, in lab coat, glasses, coolly professional look…The epitome of a scientific professional, Leonard had agreed just before they went in…Smiling at Bernadette, seated apart from the team with Father James, both of whom looked up as she and Leonard entered…

"Hey!...How was your shopping round Geneva?...Howard not here yet?..."

"No…" Bernadette, carefully…Dodging the necessity of lying as to her morning whereabouts…

"Hello, Bernadette…Father…" Amy's voice, faintly calling… Ooops…Penny pulled out her phone…Amy's image on screen…

Robe obviously hastily pulled on on hearing of the presence of the chaplain…

"You've heard the test run went well?..."

"Indeed…But how goes the honeymoon is the more important question…." James grinned at Amy's image… "Does seem to be going well…"

"Oh…Yeah…" Amy beamed…

"I see Sheldon talked you into watching the test run…" Bernadette, a bit sharply…

"On the contrary, he was a lamb about it…"Amy, happily… "I just thought it would be fun and I wanted to do something for him…After all, we're here and can…Enjoy the room service…" hasty glance at James… "…without interruption…"

"Jesus, my girl, I hope you're doing more than that…" James grinned…

"Oh, yeah…" Amy…Shyly proud grin…

"Where is Howard, anyway?..." Bernadette to Leonard…Who shrugged…

"On his way, last we spoke…With Angela Christos…"

"Amy, what the hell is that?..." Penny, staring at the phone…Music blaring…

"That's the William Tell Overture…" Leonard noted, likewise staring…

"Yes…A little idea of Sheldon's…Excuse us, we'll be back to hear all later…" Amy, screen going blank…

Whoa…Penny grinning to Leonard, Leonard to Penny…

"You know…I could wonder if maybe that wasn't Sheldon's idea…" Leonard, a bit bemused… "Sure sounds like Charlotte's kind of thing…Sorry, all that 'maybe Charlotte took Amy's place' stuff's got me nervous…"

"But if Amy is Charlotte…Then what we've seen of Amy is Charlotte…"Penny noted… "So…"

"Stop…" Leonard put up a hand…As Bernadette and James stared… "This is why I hate paradoxes…I'm sure it's ok…Just a bit unnerving…"

"Amy is who?..." Bernadette asked, nervously…

"Just a joke…Really…" Penny put up a hand…

"Hello…All…" Raj, carefully taking in men and women in one sweeping glance… "Things went well, eh?..."

"You're sure?...It sounds like something Charlotte would try…I told Howard to watch her at the wedding…" Bernadette noted to Penny as Leonard and James followed Raj to the computer monitors…

"It's fine…So Sheldon just turns out to have a little…Adventurous side…In lovemaking…"

"Ba-da-dum-da-da-dum-da-da-dum-dum-dum…" Leonard grinned… "Heigh-ho, Sheldon…"

"Dude?...Way to kill the romance…" Raj, frowning… "No wonder you couldn't keep my sister happy…"

Grin to Penny…Who gave sly return smile…

Men's room…Midway to the data review room…

Hmmn…Howard eyed the slip of paper in his hands…

"I need to speak outside CERN. It's urgent. Here's my address and phone but just ring me twice after 6:00 to confirm you'll come, after 7 tonight. Do not leave a message or speak on my phone. "

Wow.

Still, it could be the green card/job opportunities thing…She might just not want anyone at CERN to know…

But the phone thing?...Well, could be a boyfriend…I know she's not married…But heck, we've talked by phone often enough these past months…

Or perhaps her Jewish half just wants a little more kosher in her life?...

Well…Find out later…Assuming I can come up with a plausible excuse for going out tonight…

Hmmn…

The Hebrew word "Timshel" again?...He eyed the slip…The letters at the end, where a name would usually go…

"Thou mayest"…An invitation?...Or…What?...

Lets just hope it doesn't involve more than good ole self-interest…Maybe mild kinkiness at worst?…

More torture I could live without…

Not that I want to take advantage of Bernadette's "open relationship" idea…An idea she obviously only put forward out of guilt…

Active guilt I'd say…Judging by the way she's been acting since I agreed we'd wait, give us both some time to think things out, and see what happens…No doubt she's seen Raj again since…His jumping every time I mention her being a pretty good giveaway…Not to mention Penny's been giving me those mournful looks since Maine…Clearly she's in on it, Bernie must have confided…

Oh, God why dost thou torment me so?...Giving and taking away the only woman I've ever loved and trusted in the same breath?...Whatever punishment I've earned in the past, I don't deserve this…Hell…

Not if Sheldon Cooper of all people can achieve Paradise…Whatever I've done, I've never betrayed someone who cared for me…

Well, welcome back to our precious heritage of suffering, Wolowitz…

Just call me Howard Job Wolowitz…

What do I do?...If I press her I lose her…If I don't fight I lose her…Lord, right now I'd rather have it settled and done…At least force her to decide…Hmmn…No…Oh…

All things considered, might not be the worst thing to give her a little competition, assuming Angela's not insanely obsessed with one of the other guys and wants to use me for intel…

Just get the details of what she wants…ie…Getting real again…"My cousin, really, really needs a green card" "What's Sheldon's latest take on our data?...I really need a leg up on my competitors here…" "My boyfriend and I are getting married and I really, really need a better income at an American firm…Would you know anyone?..." And get out…Dropping a few minor "clues" to get Bernie curious and worried?…Penny did notice back during the test, I'm sure of it…

The alternative being seeing if Charlotte is still interested…Mmmn…No…I don't think I wanna get my throat cut and be sacrificed on an altar to Sheldon just to get my girlfriend a bit jealous…

"So this is…?" Amy eyed her lunch plate, just uncovered by the departing waiter…Having a bit reluctantly allowed an enthusiastic Sheldon to handle the menu…

"Älplermagronen…" Sheldon…

"God bless you…"

"What?...No, Älplermagronen…Oh…" he eyed her… "Bazingamy, eh?..."

She gave a mischievous shrug… "You can still keep my blessing…And…" hand wave…

"Proceed…Dearest…"

"Thank you, dearest…Yes… Älplermagronen…In English…For the layperson, Alpine herdsman's macaroni, is a frugal all-in-one dish making use of the ingredients the herdsmen had at hand in their quaint Heidiesque alpine cottages consisting of macaroni, potatoes, onions, small pieces of bacon, and melted cheese. Traditionally Älplermagronen is served with applesauce instead of vegetables or salad." Eyeing Amy's choice of salad…

"I feel the need for green…" she noted… "Sorry…"

"Not at all…But try some of my applesauce…" he spooned over…Offering spoon to her lips which she took…And then resuming…To her astonishment…

"Sheldon?..." she stared… "You realize you just nonchalantly shared food and food utensils with me?..."

He blinked…What?...

Oh my Lord…And I did it without even a thought…And I'm not even inclined to gag or sterilize my mouth…I mean even considering we have been rather vigorously exchanging bodily fluids…This is a whole new plane of intimacy…With of course, certain perils…Even if we both appear quite well, now…

"Are you sure you're all right…?" she asked, a bit anxious…

"Actually…Yes…Fine…How do you feel?..." he asked…

"Lovely…" she beamed…"That was the most delicious applesauce I've ever eaten…"

"Amy?…"

"Yes, Sheldon?..."

"Could I try some of your salad?..."

"Sheldon…" catching sob…

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part VIII…

"So this could be important?..." Penny eyed the group of Raj, Leonard, Howard, Benton, Father James, Dr. Christos collected round a shelf of data outprints…

"That the largest collection of anti-matter collected and held for the longest period to date suggests that anti-mass might in sufficient quantities generate a repulsive force that at least counters attractive force?...Could be…" Leonard noted…

Bernadette watching…A bit annoyed by the attention Dr. Christos seemed to be giving Howard…Including coming down rather heavily with the compliments on his new components…

Sure, this is a big deal and a neat success for Howie…But she's laying it on a bit thick…And there's that thing with the hand casually placed on shoulder…

Hmmn…Charlotte has been to CERN…And was supposed to be coming…

As if letting her come with us to Maine and then to Pasadena for the wedding wasn't insane enough?...Lord I never inflict my family on our friends and they're only spoiled and clingy…

Still, Howard's been able to see through her disguise attempts…And he'd never be that casual around a Charlotte in disguise, even if…

Nah, this is just guilt…Transference…

Unless of course this bitch actually likes him on her own…

But c'mon…He hasn't even got a doctorate and he's short…I mean I can overlook those things but I'm not a hot Italian physicist…

Oh…Shrewd smile…Surreptious glance…I get it…

He's using psychology…Got his science friend and collaborator to go in with him in a little scheme to make the girlfriend jealous…

Cute…Guess I deserve it…Hmmn…

She'd have to be pretty good friends with him to do that…And to take it so far as to keep her hand on his shoulder like that…

And he does have a way about him…And he has been behaving himself as to obnoxious passes, etc…

"So…This is so great…" she had stepped over to Howard…Pulling seat along… "And confirmed by the pion results…?"

"Yeah…They seem to back up our count…" Howard, a bit startled by her sudden proximity…

"I'm so proud of him…" she beamed to Angela…"So now we just see what the spectral data show…?"

She not deigning to notice Angela's maintaining position…Including hand on Howard's shoulder…

"Hmmn-hmm…" Howard nodded, again busy reviewing outprints… "Raj?...Is this…?"

Hmmn?...He fell Bernadette's hand on his opposite shoulder…

"Something of interest to note here, Dr. Hofstadter…" Penny noted…Brief glance over at the trio…

"Indeed, Dr. Hofstadter…" Leonard nodded, likewise glancing… "And in summary should I ever be in similar circumstances, it'd better be my sister or mother on the other side?..."

"You have a brilliantly analytical mind, Dr. Hofstadter…" Penny beamed…

"You got that from the "I, Mudd" episode we watched last week…" he eyed her…

Smile… "Now, our focus in the data is the CPT symmetry testing?..." she returned to her clipboard…

"Very good, yeah…" Leonard beamed…

"Thanks…Just don't ask me to explain anything I'm saying, including what 'brilliantly analytical' means and we're fine…" she noted…

"Excuse me…" Sheldon's face on laptop computer screen at a bench just across from Howard, next to Penny… "Penny, you're blocking my view…"

"Sorry…"

"Sheldon?...Did you see this yet?..." Leonard held a printout up to the laptop's webcam…

"Yes…Very tantalizing…But 10 seconds is nowhere near enough time…When do we try for 1000?..." Amy cut in…

"I agree…" Sheldon, nodding… "Is there any reason not to go ahead and try for the full length containment?...The ALPHA's been proven capable of 1000 seconds' containment…"

"Lets not push things, Sheldon…" Penny, carefully… "We're talking about a lot more particles than were captured before…"

I pay attention…Arch grin to a beaming Leonard…

"And as for you, girl…" Penny frowned at Amy on screen… "I thought we were keeping Sheldon away from this stuff…"

"We're at a beautiful outdoor café…See…?" They saw a quick sweeping view of a Geneva street…

Wow…Leonard, leaning over Penny's shoulder to see…

They really do play those giant horns…

…then back to Amy's contented face…"Sheldon didn't ask to resume contact, anxious as he was to hear…And he's being a lamb about letting Charlotte visit…Besides, I didn't expect results this profound on the first runs… And we go on the Heidi tour in twenty minutes… It's a perfect storm of science with romance, in a good way…" beam…

Contented nod from Sheldon beside her…The Heidi tour…

I know I should be thoroughly enjoying this as a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence…Howard thought, furtive glance to Angela's hand on his shoulder, then Bernadette's on the opposing shoulder…

But somehow, knowing both have ulterior motives, it's just not quite working for me…

Raj frowning in turn…

Geesh…Not only is he getting all the Catholic babes, now the two Indian ladies on the data team are naturally wondering what the funny-looking Jewish boy's got…

Oh, so that's Howard Wolowitz?...Oh, could you introduce us, we were sooo impressed by his work on the ALPHA detectors…

Yeah, after they saw two hot babes all over him they were impressed…

And now all the girls on the CERN tour passing by our windows are staring as well…Dude, can't you at least leave the tourists for me?…Some of them might have seen that bold, dynamic, yet cuddly as a brown teddy bear, young Indian astrophysicist on the cover of "People"…

"That's amazing…" Father James had come over to view the data printout Howard was examining… "I can't wait to see what shows up when containment time is extended…"

Hello…Raj eyed the tour group all now peering at Howard through the glass window, he surrounded by the data team…

Hey…I'm the one with the Ph.D…And a boatload of cash…

Maybe I could hire girls to stand by me looking adoringly while I seem to be doing something important…

"Yes, Howard's done a fantastic job…" Angela gushed…Pecking him on the cheek nearest her…

"Magnificent…" Bernadette, slight glare…Diving in for peek on the other side…

Is he like…Famous?...Raj mimicking to self, glaring at two girls eyeing Howard through the window…

No…He's not…Unless you count famous for screwing up the ISS plumbing system…

"It is wonderful…Howard…" Aashiyana, one of the computer scientists now chimed in…

Oh, crap…Raj rolled eyes…

"Am I wrong or is Howard suddenly a babe magnet?..." Leonard hissed to Penny…Who stared…

"It looks like a classic case of the lemming effect…" Amy noted on screen, eyeing the cluster about an increasingly bemused Howard…

Yeah…Penny, peering over to Howard…Hmmn…

"Penny?..." Leonard blinked…

Hmmn…?

"As I say…" Amy, content… "Right, moonpie?...Sheldon?...Sheldon, the Heidis aren't going for another ten minutes!…" call…She rose from her café chair and disappeared off-screen… "Sheldon?..."

"Raj?..." Howard turned to him…

Pardon me, ladies…

"Yeah…Invisibly right here…" curt tone…

"Some of the data must be missing…" Howard looked at the sheets… "Can you run it on screen?..."

"I'm sure Shura will be happy to run it for you…"

Oh, yeah…Shura, tall dark-haired computer data analyst nodded eagerly…

"Whoa!..." Leonard, Raj, Howard, Penny…Jumping as the screen in front of Howard crackled violently then went dark…

"Yes, yes…I've got it…" Amy's voice as the street scene on screen before Leonard jumped and swam… "Hold up Sheldon!...The Heidis can wait a second…I said I'm coming…Excuse us, all…"

"Yodel…lehi…Yodel…lehi…Yodel hehi..who…Ooof…!"

"Sheldon, don't try to show Heidi how to yodel...I don't think she…"

"Ah…He…Likes it…Oh, are you all right, sweetie?...One second…"

"None of you heard anything that sounded like Sheldon being beaten up by an annoyed Heidi yodeler…Get it?..." Amy's voice hissing to computer… "Hello?..."


	6. Chapter 6

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part IX…

"Are you absolutely sure?..." Benton was eyeing the stack of printouts next to Howard…Leonard, Penny, Raj, Father James, Bernadette seated, and several data team members standing or seated, by him…

The two Indian computer scientists and Dr. Christos examining the server for the project's mainframe…

"I know we're missing about two seconds of data in the printouts…" Howard nodded…

"Angela?...Shura?..." Benton looked at them…

"There was damage…The first experiment never got transferred to tape storage for transmission…" Shura noted…

"How is that possible?..." Leonard stared…

"There was an unexplained surge that knocked out the local hard drive…" Angela frowned…

"So excepting these printouts, we've lost experiment one?..." Howard noted…

"'Fraid so…" Angela nodded…

"Shura?..." Benton… "How did this happen?...Any ideas?..."

"It shouldn't have happened…But obviously something managed to overcome our protections…I'd guess offhand either an electromagnetic pulse or a bad short in the circuit directly to the drive…"

"Have you ever seen this before?..." Leonard…

"We've seen pulses and the occasional bad surge…It's never happened before to this extent…"

"This as bad as it sounds…?" Penny, hiss to Leonard…

"It's a setback…Though this was only a short test run…" he noted, whispering… "Though we have to find out what caused it before we do anything more…"

"Two seconds at the end…" Howard frowned… "The last crucial seconds…"

"We'll check the system top to bottom…"Shura sighed… "I'm really sorry about this, guys…But we'll figure it out…"

"Does this nix any chance of spectral data?..." Father James eyed Howard…

"We didn't expect much from a short trial run…" Howard replied… "But it does make it harder to get anything from this one…And we need to pin this down before we do any more runs…Ok, lets go over this from the start…"

Why certainly…Captain Wolowitz…Raj, frowning at Bernadette's rather proud gleam…

What?...Leonard eyed Penny's stare…

"If Howard is the one these folks are turning to, why do you guys always give him such a hard time about not having a Ph.D?..." she hissed to him…

Geneva…Bridal suite…

"Sheldon!...Amy!..." Leonard called at the door to their suite…

"That's no way to do it…" Penny, beside him, frowned… "This is their honeymoon, they could be…You know…" coy look…

"Occupied…" smile…

"I just called them from the hotel foyer…"

"Would be plenty for us…" she pointed out…

"Hey…Jesus…" Leonard stared at the emerging Amy and Sheldon…She in Heidi costume, complete with wig…He jaunty in Alpine hat, with feather, and leiderhosen…

"You're right…Should've knocked…" he sighed to a stunned, staring Penny…

"Grüetzi…Or if you prefer the alternative daily greetings for the other Swiss national groups…Bonjour, Buongiorno…" Amy…

"I see you really did the Heidi experience…" Penny, forcing smile, glancing at Leonard…

Please let it be that…And not something weirdly sexual…

"Oh, yes…And then some…" Sheldon nodded happily…

"Though frankly I make a much more believable Heidi than several of the male guides and the middle-aged chain smoking woman who led us…" Amy noted… "And obviously, my Peterli here…"

"That would be me…" Sheldon, beaming…Feather bouncing as he nodded…Snapping thumbs in his leiderhosen…

"…is perfectly cast…"

"Nice wig…" Leonard, slight shrug…What am I gonna say?...To Penny's eye roll…

"Thank you…Well?..." Amy turned to him… "What is your verdict?...Blonde…?"

She pulled on braided hair to remove wig… "Or brunette…?"

"Obviously it's difficult to say…" Sheldon noted… "Though as a husband I must go with my original choice…After all if I'd wanted you blonde I could have developed a much superior hair dye years ago…"

"I love you, too, Moonpie…" Amy beamed… "But I'd like an objective opinion here…Leonard?..."

"Ummn…Well…Brunette does suit you…" he tried…

"Chocolate…?" Sheldon offered a chocolate bar piece to Penny…Who started to accept then hesitated…

"This isn't more of that conditioning stuff, is it?..." she eyed the piece, then Sheldon, narrowly…

"Why no, it's Lindt…Only here it's local…"

"…Though there's nothing wrong with blonde should you ever choose…" Leonard continued…

"Thanks…" Penny took the piece… "Whoa, it's great…"

You know Leonard spent a week detraining her with chocolate after my initial modifications...Sheldon hissed to Amy…And used chocolate to instill an instinctive suspicion of any further attempts by me…

"And did you two have a nice time at the ALPHA test?..." Amy…Frowning at Sheldon…

"It was nice, though we did have a glitch…" Penny noted…

"Possible corrupted hard drive…We lost a couple seconds' data…" Leonard explained..

Hmmn…Amy pondered as Sheldon looked a bit anxious…Corrupted?...

"Ergo, given our own rather excellent adventure…Brunettes did have more fun…Today…" Amy grinned…

"Just for a little while…It's about the work…" Howard explained to Bernadette's frown as they faced each other in their hotel room, one floor down from Amy and Sheldon's suite and Penny and Leonard's room…

"Ms. Alloveryouinthelab has some areas yet to explore?..."

"Dr. Christos wants to discuss the problem we encountered today…" sigh…

Ok, a minor lie…But she could want to talk about that too, now…

"Sorry…Dr. Alloveryouinthelab has some areas yet to explore?..."

"I don't deserve this, Bernie…" glare…

"Right…I'm the guilty one…" arms folded, hard stare…

Arms folded, return stare, causing her to yield just a bit… "Well, now that you mention it…How is Raj?..."

He sighed at her tears… "Bernie, I'm sorry…"

"Howard…You said you could forgive me…Please…Don't do this to me…"

"Bernie…I'm not doing anything to hurt you…I promised I'd speak with her…I'll just speak with her…"

"Then let me come…If it's only work, it doesn't matter…"

"Bernie, I told the woman I'd see her…Alone…For reasons she preferred to keep to herself…And you've no right to assume that because you screwed up, I will…" calm stare…

"Is this to punish me?..." she eyed him…

"The woman asked me to speak with her…It's got nothing to do with you…Or Rajesh…You're asking me to have faith in you after…What happened…And happened again…Whereas I haven't done anything since we committed to give you cause to wonder about me…"

"Fine…I'm the wanton one…You're Mr. Virtue…But it could've been you, Howard…Easily…"

"Lets be honest Bernadette..The reason you feel this way is not because I'm obnoxious or because you've got a legit fear I'll go off with a girl…This one, anyone…It's because you have no respect for me and you don't think I have any right to expect you to commit to me…This way, anyway…"

"Is that what you think?..." she stared at him…

"I think you try not to, but in the end you feel like one of the doctoral gang and superior to me…I'm just answering your question…" he eyed her stricken face…

"That's not true…" she shook her head… "If you think that's why I went off with Raj…"

"No…" he shrugged… "But I do think it's why you went off with him again, in Maine…"

"Leonard…Might I talk to you?...Penny, if it's ok…?" Raj had joined the group upstairs and after a momentary blinking at the Heidi characters…

Like we stepped right out of a book, eh?...Sheldon happily noted…

Hmmn…Raj had smiled…

"Grimm's fairy tales…" he'd noted to Leonard…He'd waited till The Fowler-Coopers went inside to change for dinner to address Leonard…

"Sure…But is it nerd or guy talk?...'Cause I think I earned honorary nerd status today…" Penny beamed…

"It's…I'm too embarrassed to talk to both of you talk…Sorry…" Raj sighed…

"No problem…But feel free to look up Dr. Penny, later…" she patted him… "You might find I understand these things better than Leonard…" warm smile… "But it's ok, really…I know you need to talk to your old bud…"

"Thanks…" Raj nodded… "And I may take you up on that…If I can avoid getting completely sloshed this evening…"

"I'll go put my new alter ego away and get party Penny out…" she smiled…Heading off…

"That's one in a million, Hofstadter…" Raj smiled at him as they watched her…

"I know…And I will try to be properly grateful…For the rest of my life…" Leonard smiled back…Both falling into a slow walk down the corridor… "So…Bernadette?..."

"What am I going to do, Leonard?...I thought it was over, I really did…" Raj sighed… "Then…And I'm not blaming her…In Maine…"

"The blueberry patch…Penny told me…"

"I didn't mean for it to happen…She didn't…"

"Ah, Raj…" Leonard shook his head… "Penny's right, she's the person to consult…But I can tell you you and Bernie have to make up your minds…It's not fair to Howard or to both of you…"

"I'm thinking of leaving Cal Tech…" Raj said, quietly… "I can't see any other way…I know now it will happen again if I stay around her…"

"Raj…God…" Leonard sighed… "I hate this…Are you sure it's the only way?..."

"I don't want to make Howard suffer…And I don't want to suffer myself or make Bernadette suffer…"

"It may not resolve things…You know that…Hell, look at Charlotte…" Leonard noted… "She didn't see Sheldon for twenty years and lived an ocean away, with all kinds of incredible men falling at her feet…And it did no good…"

"Well…I guess I'm not quite Sheldon…" Raj, faint smile…

Thank God…Both, in unison…

"But…It might force a decision…One way or the other…" he eyed Leonard… "I love Howard…And Bernadette…Together as well as separately…I won't stand in the way of their happiness…But I'm not a saint, Leonard…I want her and if she wants me badly enough, poor Howard and my parents be damned, I'll take her…"

"Do you have any idea of where you might go?...Back to India?..."

"Oh, dear God, no!..." mock horror… "Here, actually…They have some room for a cosmologist…And Europe's nice…Cooler…And not too far from America…"

"Well…" Leonard reflected… "It would be a good career move and maybe a good move in other ways…But, God…I'll miss you, buddy…And so will the others…"

"Think of it as an excuse to come back here once a year…" Raj grinned…Then shrugged… "Can I be a rat and say I hope it might be a good move romancewise…?" hesitant look…

"Given someone has to be hurt however this sorts out…" Leonard sighed… "I guess I can only hope whatever happens will be for the best…And I know Howard wants this settled too…When do you tell them?..."

"Not quite sure…Not tonight…I need to firm the offer up with Benton and the team anyway…"

"I hope it works out, for the best…" Leonard, offering hand which Raj shook… "And I will take you up on that yearly trip idea…But…You should talk to Penny, too…"

"I will…So long as the booze in my minifridge holds out…" grin…

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part X…

תִּמְשָׁל…Howard eyed the word on paper…Riding up to Angela's apartment in a building about two miles from the hotel where the gang and their honeymoon couple were currently residing…

"Thou mayest…Or, thou mayest not…"

The key to man's freedom of choice, some, like Steinbeck, had said…It meaning the younger son's freedom to atone for his sin and choose the right path in the Steinbeck novel…But, it could mean...The freedom to forgive…

"Well, I have forgiven her…It's not about that…" he noted to himself… It's her choice now…

Even if she seems determined to insist it's mine…

But if it were mine?...I don't know…Get her…Us…Away from Pasadena, I guess…

Well, thou also mayest put this off for now…There's my choice…He thought as the elevator halted…

He headed down the hallway…

Hmmn…Do have to admit she was laying it on thick at the lab… Dr. Alloveryouinthelab wasn't far wrong…What's she up to here?...Obviously she wanted anyone seeing us together to get the wrong impression…

He paused by the numbered door #5 as she told him…Pressing bell…

Waiting…

Slight knock… "Dr. Christos?...Angela?...It's me…"

Ok, just for old timesake and only internally…Loverboy…

Harder knock…Hmmn?...As the door opened…

"Angela?..." he called into the dark room…Feeling for a light switch…

Ah, some sort of finger panel and…Arrgh!...He jumped back at the sight of the brunette-haired body on the floor…

"Good God!...Angela?..." he knelt down, looking…Phone?...

"Oh, Jesus!...Not as my mother would say…" he felt the wet blood on his hands as he turned her head…

He felt for a pulse while glancing round the room…Not a lot of time since I called her and confirmed our appointment…I'd not rule out the maniac isn't still in here, hidden…

No pulse….Oh, God…He stood up, staring…

Poor kid…Such a beauty…Ok, ok, what do I do now?...Phone, right…Call Swiss 911, the cops, an ambulance if there's any…Right, CPR…He got down and turned her head…Her lovely face streaked with blood, matted hair falling down…

"Oh, you poor kid…" he gasped…Then, inclined her head…Shaking her…Feeling inside the mouth for any obstruction…

Phone?…Oh…I have one… He reached back…Pulled out his cell…

Ok…Probably not 911…Ah, right…The lecture… 144…He dialed…

"Hello?...I've an emergency here…Yes, English, please…A young woman, Angela Christos, Apartment 5, fourth floor, 165 Rue de Lyon, here in Geneva…She's been attacked in her apartment, just now…I'm afraid she's dead but I'm trying CPR…Yes, I know the procedure…Can you get an ambulance and the police over here as soon as possible?...Howard Wolowitz…W…O…L…O…W…I…T…Yes, Z…No, just a friend…I was coming over to see her about our work and found her…Her door was unlocked or the lock's broken, I haven't checked…Look, I need to start CPR or I may as well not bother…Please hurry…"

"I'm so sorry, Angela…Kadish…Though, let me give it a try…" he leaned over…Hands over her blouse…

"If you're going to kill me too…" he addressed the figure he sensed now moving out from the hallway to the bedroom… "Best be quick about it…The cops are…" he forced his head up to confront the figure…

Gone…The door open…Faint sound of feet…Squeak of door…Probably stairwell, he noted as he got hold of himself, trying to stop the trembling…

Focus…Lets see what can be done…

And…Hands on top of each other…Over sternum…

One and two and three and four and…Breathe…

"Please God…Please…Help me out here…One and two and three and four and…" Breathe…

"…And never let this be Bernadette…Please, please…"

Holy God of my fathers!...He backed away as Angela's chest heaved…Coughing…

"Oh, God…" he sobbed… "Never, never…Angela, Angela?...Can you hear me?...Angela?...It's Howard…"

Sound of running feet, more than one, he thought…The door pushed back…

"Howard!..." Bernadette's cry… "Angela!..." Father James', beside her…

"And your friend, Dr. Rostenkowski was waiting in the foyer of the building, for you?..." a tall police officer in uniform eyed the seated Howard carefully…Two others in more civilian-style clothes photographed the room and gathered items as they walked about…Another obviously checking for fingerprints and perhaps DNA samples…

"Yes…" Howard nodded… "I was just up to speak to Angela about our project, at her request…Bernadette came along but not to her apartment floor, she'd decided to wait for me on the ground floor…"

Right…Bernadette, grim look…I decided…Yeah…

"And you, Father…You're the CERN chaplain?...And you came, at Miss…Dr. Rostenkowski's request?..." the officer eyed the priest, seated just by Bernadette on her opposite side on Angela's sofa…

"I wanted him to speak to Howard tonight…" Bernadette noted, firmly… "I asked him to meet us…"

"You spoke to the Father about us?..." Howard looked at her, catching the priest's faint shrug…

"I confessed to him…While you were busy with the test…" Bernadette, quietly…

"That's confidential by the way…" James noted to the officer… "Sanctity of the confessional…"

"I understand…" the officer nodded…

"Just couples' problems…" Howard shrugged… "Nothing important to this…"

"Sir…You came to see Dr. Christos…Your girlfriend was with you in the building but not with you when you entered the apartment…I think you can see I have to regard it as important…As I do the fact that the chaplain also was present, though again not in the apartment…"

"Right…I understand…" sigh…

"Is there any word yet?..." Father James asked…

"The paramedics were pretty confident she'd reach the hospital and once there her chances are good…You're to be commended, Dr. Wolowitz…" the officer smiled at Howard… "I doubt she'd have had a chance without your help…"

"Mr…And proud of it…" Bernadette noted… "Are you saying the Father and I are suspects?..."

"Everyone present in the area's a suspect, Mademoiselle…It's nothing personal…"

"Of course…"

"Well, Bernadette…Dr. Rostenkowski…Was downstairs when I came up by the elevator and so she can't really be a suspect, right?..." Howard, hastily…

"It's a slow elevator, Mr. Wolowitz, my people and I noticed that coming up…How long would you say it took to reach this floor?...Ten minutes at least, maybe fifteen?...And did you stop at all along the way?..."

"Well…For a couple of minutes…I was early, 'cause I'd brought Bernadette to wait at the last minute, sort of…Are you suggesting Bernadette…?"

"And I could have been in the building earlier…I've only a witness for seeing me leave CERN to meet Dr. Rostenkowski…" James noted… "It's all routine, though Howard, don't worry…" faint smile…

Noise at the door…An officer minding the doorway to keep out the curious held the new group at bay a moment…

"Those are our friends…" Howard called, seeing a worried Leonard and Amy immediately at the door, Sheldon, Raj, and Penny just behind…

"It's all right…" the questioning officer nodded, the other stepping back… "Just please don't go beyond the taped area here, please…"

"I've been on the phone to the hospital…" Amy, hurrying to Howard and Bernadette… "She's going to make it but is in a coma…"

"Thank God…" James and Howard in unison…

"Do you have any ideas as to who did this?..." Leonard, addressing the questioning officer… "Was it robbery?..."

"Could have been…Geneva's had a rise in violent crime with the recession…But she'd opened the door to whoever it was was here when they passed Mr. Wolowitz…"

"Oh…" Bernadette gasped…Staring at Howard…

"Sorry…" the officer sighed to Howard… "I thought she knew…"

"You were in here with that maniac?..." she looked at Howard…Who shrugged…

"Only for a second, Bernie…He, or she, was out before I could see them…"

"They could've killed you…Why didn't you say so?..."

"I didn't think it would have made any difference for you to know except to upset you…"

"But you're all right?..." Penny, now standing in front of him, anxiously…

"Just fine…"

"Howard, that was incredible what you did…" Leonard patted his arm… "You saved her life, even with a mad person in the room…"

"No…I was just lucky she wasn't as far gone as I'd thought…It wasn't bravery that kept me nailed to the floor by her, believe me…"

"I'd've probably run like a rabbit and left the poor girl, to be honest…" Raj, shaking head… "Leonard's right…You did a great thing, Howard…"

"Absolutely…" Sheldon chimed in, looking round… "This is so terrible…Even in Switzerland, near CERN?...My lord…"

"The important thing is she'll be ok…" Amy noted, patting him… "Hello, Father…Sorry I didn't see you at first…" she nodded to the chaplain…

"Sorry we have to meet again under such circumstances, Amy…" he nodded…

"Ok, I do need to ask you a few more questions, Mr. Wolowitz…" the questioning officer noted…

"Sorry, yeah…Fire away…" Howard nodded…Hmmn…

"Don't worry…No guns were involved unless the perpetrator held one on the young lady…The weapon was a not so blunt instrument, likely a crowbar…"

"Sir, I think we can confirm that…" one of the officers searching came over to the interrogator…Raising a crowbar about a foot long to show… "Thrown under the bed…"

"Oh, my…"Amy stared

On the other hand…Can't help being a little relieved my sister will have some contrast…

"If you can get fingerprints…Or a DNA sample…from that…" Leonard noted…

"Looks pretty clean…" the officer holding the crowbar was eyeing it minutely…

"We'll do our best…" the interrogator noted…

"Well, if we can help…We're all scientists…And Angela was our friend…" Leonard, carefully…

"Thanks…We appreciate all the help we can get…Sincerely…" the officer nodded kindly…

"Yes, we have got to find out who did this…" Sheldon began…

"Moonpie…" Amy, calmly… "You're right but not the time to fret…We have to think of poor Angela…I know you're still edgy but there's no danger to me…"

"Right…But if we can help in any way…I don't want anymore with guns and people threatening to throw the people I love off buildings…"

"Pasadena's a rough and tough place in some areas…" Leonard, lamely to the puzzled officer…


	7. Chapter 7

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XI…

Genève Aéroport…About 10 am…

Arrivals…People scurrying about, families and couples reuniting...Others waiting, some alone, some not…Some eagerly scanning the arrivals boards or the hallways from the debarkation areas, others with somewhat less enthusiasm…Even a bit of trepidation…

Sheldon eyeing Amy…Amy, Sheldon…

"I'm sure it will be fine…" he noted, putting arm around her as they sat side-by-side, she with paper cup of hot chocolate in holder… "Everything was fine in Maine and at the wedding…"

"Thank you…" she leaned against him… "I know you're nervous about this, especially after what happened yesterday…"

"If this helps her…It's fine…It's odd, though…" he shook his head…

"What?..."

"I suddenly have this urge to call Missy and ask her how she is…"

"You should…" Amy nodded…

"Fascinating…" he shook head again… "I mean the effect you've had on me, Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper…"

"A good effect, I trust…?" she eyed him…

"I believe so…Even if it does seem I'm accumulating a truckload of social obligations I never before felt the need to acknowledge…Yes…It is…"

"Well, nothing that wasn't already there, Moonpie…" she rubbed her head against his arm… "Just needed to be brought out into the light…"

"I might have lived my whole life alone in the dark but for you…" he said suddenly… "Cathy, don't ever let anything happen to you…Nothing must ever happen to you…"

"I'll do my best…You, too, you know…Heathcliff…" she smiled at him…Then sighed…

"I know it's a frightening thing…Such a risk, giving your heart to me…So much to lose, now…It's terrifying…Just remember, it's the same for me…"

"It's true…" he nodded… "Amy…It's so terrifying and wonderful…And we are so like them, in our way…"

"Heathcliff and Cathy…Though I hope I never gave you cause to think I'd go with Edgar… Hofstadter or Bloom…Sweet as they are…" grin…

"Well then…As Stuart would suggest, the proper response is…Amy… 'Be with me always…Take any form, drive me mad, only do not leave me in this dark alone where I cannot find you'…I mean that, beloved…" hard stare…Tears in eyes…

"You have to, now…Having made me love you…" anxious smile…

"No problem…" she nodded… "And you the same…Cause 'I cannot live without my life…I cannot die without my soul'…And I am Sheldon…" stare…

"And I, Amy…Though I don't think I'd do as well as they climbing above the moors…I tend to pass out on heights…"

"I'll carry you…You're light enough…" hug…

"Poor Charlotte…Yes, we have to be a family for her…" he mused, nodding… "But I imagine no one will ever guess what we are, Cathy…We'll just be an amusingly odd couple, even to our friends…"

"I think they see, a little…Howard, most of all…" she pondered… "But it's true Heathcliff, most will never…Thank goodness, given the world's tendency to destroy what it can't understand…"

"Yes…We're like Leonard's arctic snowflake, generally transitory, but in our case preserved forever…"

"Doesn't mean we won't have to do something about your snoring…" she grinned at him… "Ah, there's her plane in…" she eyed the arrivals board… "They've disembarked…"

"Hey…The plane's in…" Leonard, now moving to them, coffee cup in hand…Penny following…Rajesh with cinnabun and coffee behind her…

"Amy!..." a cry…A beaming Charlotte hurrying their way, carrying bag…Hampered by frequent efforts by various males to offer to assist her, carry bag, find a taxi…Politely rejected…

"Amy!..." Charlotte embraced her fervently… "Sheldon!..." Ummn…

"It's fine…" Amy smiled… "Go nuts…" Charlotte giving tight embrace…Cheek kiss…Release...

"Oh, how great it is to see you all again!..." Charlotte, teary-eyed…Attempting to embrace the group as one…

"Oh, and I brought these, Amy…Sheldon…Look, from some of my patients…They all wanted to wish Aunt Amy and Uncle Sheldon a happy wedding and honeymoon…" she pulled out a folder, on opening revealed to be full of hand-drawn and lettered cards…

"Sorry, I don't mean to get so emotional…But it's so nice to have a family and friends and my little sister back…" she sighed… "I feel so happy being here with you…" Amy rubbing her shoulder…

"And we're glad you're here, Charlotte…" Penny nodded, beaming… "This is how it was meant to be…"

Well?...She nodded at Leonard, urging…

"Great to see you Charlotte…" he smiled…Offering a hug which was accepted eagerly…

"Have you two settled things yet?..." she eyed them… "Not meaning to press…"

"Actually…" Penny, smiling at Leonard who rolled eyes… "We're good…Just want to let things take their course…But I got a provisional proposal already and I think I can get him to move formally when we're ready…" grin…

"That's good…You two are so well-matched…Like Amy and Sheldon…I know you'll be very happy when all's settled…Hello, Rajesh!...May I?..." Charlotte offered hug…Accepted, kindly by a smiling Raj…

"Have you read that book I sent?..." she asked… He nodded…

"Didn't help much yet, eh?..." she smiled, a bit ruefully…

"Try…ing…" he choked out… "It's…ok…"

"Hey!..." Penny grinned… "Not bad…And not a drop of booze, I might add…"

"It's great, Rajesh…Just keep at it at your own pace, as Dr. Mechalis says in the book…I know you'll overcome this…" Charlotte, beaming…

"I've been talking to Amy every night but how is my brother the angel boy…?" she smiled at Sheldon… "Are you showing Amy a proper honeymoon?...I know CERN is a big lure for you…"

"He's trying his best to fight it…" Amy, smiling… "We've had a very nice time…"

"Nice?...Oooh…Sheldon…?" Charlotte frowned… "You can do better…You jumped off a building for this girl…Come now…"

"Sorry…Don't mean to bring up my less healthy days…" she sheepishly noted to Amy… "But I just mean he should be making this spectacular…"

"Medium spectacular…But I expect to be wowed again before we're done…" Amy noted, solemnly…Eyeing Sheldon coyly at end… "I will be wowed again?..."

"If it's humanly possible without suicide…" Sheldon nodded… "Though that is hard to top…"

"I can live without it if it must involve that level of risk…" Amy grinned… "Charlotte, you look wonderful…I'm so glad your chemo cycle went well…And these are beautiful cards…Thank you and your patients…"

"May I?..." Sheldon offered, taking the bag from Charlotte…

"I can't believe that's the woman who tasered me and tried to kill her own sister a few months ago…" Leonard whispered to Penny as the group headed out…

"She never meant to kill Amy, just make her suffer…Which probably would have been worse…" Penny noted…Whispering back… "But she just needed to know her sister really loved her and never betrayed her…And that she had people who truly love her…"

"Yeah…Well, good to see she seems to have gotten her feelings about Sheldon directed in a more healthy way…"

"He was all she had, poor thing…I kinda know the feeling…Like with me and Kurt when I kept going back to him…"

"At least you never threatened his new girlfriends…" Leonard noted…

Ummn…He looked at her sphinx-like expression…

Me to know, you to find out, if you ever give me cause, Dr. H…Grin…All boarded an elevator…

"And how is Stuart?...He seemed well last time I spoke with him…No, don't worry, Amy…" Charlotte smiling, putting up a hand… "It really is fine…I like him very much but I understand and I wasn't sure if he was the one either…Though he is very sweet…Is he still with Ms. Comic-com?..."

"I wasn't worried, Charlotte…" Amy shook her head… "I know you're dealing well these days…Stuart's fine and I think they're still together…Are they, Sheldon?..."

Sheldon, blinking…

"Bazinga…I've gotten rather good at teasing the good doctor-husband…" Amy beamed to Charlotte who grinned at Sheldon… "But you should call Stuart, Sheldon, I know he'd like to hear from you…"

"Now…Lets get you back to the hotel and up to your room…I want to dish soeur 'a soeur…"

No offense, bestie…She hissed to Penny in passing… Penny giving an "OK" thumb and forefinger with eye wink…

"Just knock on the door if we're more than fifteen minutes alone together, Sheldon…" Charlotte grinned at him… "Bazinga…I know you can't help being a little nervous…" she patted him…

"Come on, sis…" Amy urged… "We'll be back in just a few…Then all we ladies will dish…"

"Are Howard and Bernadette here?..." Charlotte asked, following Amy…

"They went shopping but should be back any minute…" Leonard called…

"Is everything…Copacetic?...With them?..." she asked Amy as they went into the elevator…Guarded tone…

"For the time being…Howard's not mentioned otherwise, though they haven't set a date again yet…Hard to say…Bernadette doesn't like to talk about it now…" Amy noted as the doors closed…

"I'm sorry…" Charlotte sighed… "I hope they can work it out…Honestly…" smile to Amy…

"I know…But…" Amy eyed her sis… "If things didn't…I would be willing to put in a good word…"

"Oh, I do like Howard…We share so much in our pasts…And he does remind me of Grandpa Leonard…" Charlotte sighed… "But don't let Bernadette think I'm trying to do anything…I don't want to spoil anyone's happiness if she and he can work it out…I'll be all right one way or the other…I had a date the other weekend…That nice lab technician, Charles…"

"Oh?...Really nice?...Or…?" Amy, hesitating…

"Not like my old pattern…Very nice…I think he likes me…We'll see…I didn't…My usual, I mean…Just dinner…" Charlotte, cautiously… "It was nice not having that pressure...Especially coming so soon after my last chemo cycle…"

"Good…I'm glad you're taking things a bit slow and I want details on how 'nice'…But now…" Amy pressed the stop button…The elevator lurching to a halt… "I've got to tell you…" she eyed the surprised Charlotte… "And I want you to be the first…" beam…

"OH!..Amy!..." Charlotte, arms raised in jubilation…Hugging her… "When, what, have you got a good obstetrician…?"

"Seven and a half month, we think…I'll wait unless Sheldon wants to know…I think so but if you have a recommendation…"

"What about Sheldon?...Did you…?"

"Not yet…I just confirmed it this morning…Sheldon thought I was shopping but I saw an obstetrician…We'll tell Penny and Bernadette in a few…And we'll spring it on him and the boys tonight…"

"Oh…Amy, this is so wonderful…Aunt Charlotte…We'll be like Great Auntie Mag and Gran Mag!…I'm so glad…Truly…Oh, a little Sheldon or Amy…"

"Maybe Margaret Charlotte…Or Sheldon…We'll see…"

"Dieu…Will Sheldon be 'bazingad' on this one…" Charlotte cackled…

"Sorry…The old Fowler will come out…"

"No, he will be bazingad…And I'd better have a defibrillator standing by…" Amy noted…Cackling in turn…

Mutual cackle…

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XII…

Café near the gang's hotel…

"We should be getting in…They've probably got Charlotte in by now…" Howard noted…Swirling his hot chocolate…

Not bad, but my mom's has marshmallows…

"I don't like the idea of you facing that psycho again…I wish Amy would've thought a little before inviting her…" Bernadette, grimly…

"I told I was ok with it…And I am…Charlotte was fine in Maine and sweet at the wedding…I'm sure she's over the crazy Sheldon obsession…After all, it was partly the chemotherapy affecting her…"

"So Amy says…" Bernadette, shaking head… "I don't trust her…And she seemed a little obsessed with you at the wedding…"

"She wanted to apologize…We danced a couple of times…That's all…" he frowned… "This isn't about Charlotte and you know it…"

"Don't start telling me what or how I feel…" she replied, sharply… "I'm concerned for you…The woman tried to kill some of us and hurt you…At least grant me that I can care, even if I'm a heartless betrayer…"

Sudden weeping…

"Bernie…I didn't say that…"

"If I could take it all back, never let it happen…I would…"

"I know that…But what's done is done…And all I ask is that you tell me what you want…What you really want…"

Sigh…

"When I'm here, with you…I only want you…" she said, flatly… "Truly…"

"But with Raj?..." he eyed her…

"I can't help how I feel about him…" she looked away… "Can't you see it as something like your attachment to your mother?...And just help me fight it?...And in time…"

"Apart from the 'eehew' inherent in that scenario, momwise…" he blinked… "That seems awfully hard on you as well as me…Not to mention, Raj…"

"I don't want to lose you, Howard…" she pleaded… "Can you just give me a little more time, let me try to work this one out?...Father James is counseling me and it is helping…"

"If you really want to, Bernie…All the time you need…But…" he reached to take her hand… "You don't need to do this to make it up to me…I'll be fine…I won't love it…But I'll manage…"

"But I won't…" she eyed him… "I'm not doing this out of nobility, Howard…If I thought just running off with Raj would settle everything, I'd convince myself it was best for you and do it…But I can't imagine not having you in my life…Lord, I wish you guys would get human cloning up and running…If there were two of me…"

"There'd be two unhappy Bernadettes…" he noted, quietly…Faint wry smile… "And I wouldn't want that…"

"You're a good man, Howard Wolowitz…Please don't give up on me yet…" she sighed…

"Never…" he patted her hand… "Well, now…What about the good Father?...After what you said about 'The Thorn Birds' the other day…" grin…

"Knock it off, you…" she grinned back…

"How's he taking poor Angela?...They were close friends, right?..."

"I guess…He seems pretty shaken up by it…Howard?...Why were you seeing her?...I buy that there was no hanky-panky…Really…" she patted his hand in turn… "Was there something important?..." she eyed him… "I'm scared for you…Whoever hurt her, might have been waiting for you, too…Did she drag you into something?..."

"I don't know, honestly…It did seem important to her…And I think it centered around a word…"

Hmmn?...

He pulled out the slip of paper with the Hebrew word "timshel"…She looked at it, then him…

"It's Hebrew for 'thou mayest', basically…It refers to God's attempt to offer Cain a second chance after he killed his brother, Abel…"

"Like in 'East of Eden'…?" she stared at him…

"Exactly…Actually the word has a variable meaning…It can be taken as 'Thou mayest not' as well…"

"And what would a second chance after a brother kills his brother have to do with Angela Christos and someone trying to kill her…"

"Or silence her…Or keep her from speaking to me…There's no way to be sure whoever wanted her dead…"

"And this could have something to do with the work…The experimental data being lost?..."

"Who knows…" he shrugged… "But given she wanted to see me…And passing on the idea that she longed for my short but studly form…"

"She'd've been wise to long…" Bernie, beaming…

"Do you think you could speak to the chaplain…See if he has any ideas?…Maybe without giving too much away as to my meeting with Angela?..."

"You mean spy, again?...I don't do spy well, you know…Especially with my confessor…Even if I may do other things too well…" downcast look…

"Bernie…Lets put that on the back burner and stick with your plan there…You'll figure it out and let me know, right?..." he eyed her… "But if you could help with this…It might be nice to work it out together…Maybe help you decide being Dr. Watson to my Sherlock Wolowitz is a bit more exciting than a wealthy Bollywood playboy turned astrophysicist…" he gave a shrewd look…

"I'm no saint, either, you know…" grin…

Lounge of the hotel…Leonard, Penny, Raj have rejoined the Fowlers and Fowler-Coopers…

"So you say your friend was attacked in her apartment just before Howard was to see her?...And he revived her?..." Charlotte stared…

"Not only that…" Amy shook her head… "The assailant was still in the apartment…Howard was lucky not to have joined poor Angela in a coma…"

"And poor Bernadette was just below, waiting for him…But she saw no one?..." Charlotte asked…

"She heard Howard cry out and went up the elevator, then Father James, the Mc Ewan brother I told you about on the phone, came in…He was supposed to meet them there as well…At Bernie's request…" Amy nodded…

"I don't understand why people want to hurt people like that…" Sheldon, grimacing… "Don't we lose people soon enough in this world?..."

"I don't why either Sheldon…Even though I did walk on the violent side recently…" Charlotte sighed… "It was like a kind of madness…I knew I was acting badly, even insanely…But I couldn't control myself…I wish I…" she twisted anxiously…

"We understand, honey…" Penny, soothingly… "But you were ill and afraid and now things are better…You have us and Amy…"

"Thank you…" Charlotte nodded, wan smile… "But there is a difference here…This person didn't stay…They weren't obsessed as I was…This was for a purpose…And if not robbery…?"

"They didn't want her to talk to Howard…" Leonard noted… "Though as yet he hasn't told us what she wanted him over for…But it may have something to do with CERN…"

"With the test and the missing data?..." Sheldon looked at him…

"Who knows…?" Leonard shrugged…

"I think you hit the nail...Foursquare as we say in Nebraska…" Penny nodded… "Whatever she was going to tell Howard, that was probably why this guy went for her…"

"Have the police searched her place?..." Charlotte asked…

"They were investigating, roped it off…" Leonard noted…

"But if Howard has some idea why she wanted to speak to him?..." Charlotte eyed him…

"Are you saying we should check it out?..." Sheldon blinked a bit… "Excuse me, but interfering in a criminal investigation by poking about a crime scene is probably as serious an offense here as it is in parts of America other than Mississippi and Alabama and some regions of Texas…"

"We wouldn't be…Interfering…" Charlotte grinned… "Especially if we knew what to look for…"

"Hello, Father…" Bernadette rose from her seat at the café table to greet Father James…

"Thank you for coming again…After what happened at Angela's, I know this can't be easy…"

"Not at all…I'm glad to see you both…" James smiled at her, then offered a hand to Howard who rose…

"Father…Thanks for coming…"

They took seats and eyed each other…

"I hope Howard, you realize I'm here not merely as Bernadette's confessor and priest, but as a counselor…And that I do counsel non-Catholic couples…"

Smile…"Meaning you won't walk out of here baptized…"

"The thought had crossed my mind…" grin… "But I do appreciate your talking to Bernie and being willing to talk to us both…Ummn…" Howard looked at Bernadette…

"I'm not really sure how we start things here…Which is remarkable considering therapy and Jews should go together like fudge sauce and vanilla ice cream…"

"We just talk…About anything…And see where it leads us…" James smiled… "Though usually I do do this sort of thing in more seclusion…"

"I feel better doing it out here…" Bernadette, hastily… "I don't want people thinking we're seeing you professionally…Even if we are…And Howard's ok with that…"

"I'll keep a list of casual reasons as to why we've met handy…" James smiled…

"Well, if we can talk about…Anything…" Howard, carefully… "Could you tell me a little more about Angela?...You were close friends, right?..."

"Angela?..." James blinked… "Well, yes…More than friends, really…She's a relative…My cousin…And one of my New Spirituality leads…"

"Your what?..." Howard asked…

Hmmn…Bernadette frowned…

Glad if it's putting Howie at ease but …Kinda not the conversation I wanted to have just right now…

"A recreation of the old Pole reform group…The Spirituality…" James paused, then smiled… "A rather more real-life version of the Illuminati in its day…"


	8. Chapter 8

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XIII…

"Well…" James continued his explanation… "The original Spirituali were a Catholic reform movement from about 1510 to the 1560s, organized as a response to what most Catholics felt were legitimate concerns of Protestant groups as well as their own…It had among its members the Cardinals Gasparo Contarini, Giovanni Pietro Carafa, Jacopo Sadoleto , and poor Reginald Pole, Henry VIII's cousin and perpetual victim…Anyway these 'Catholic evangelicals' proposed to reform the Catholic church through a spiritual renewal and internalisation of faith by each individual. Intense study of scripture and justification by faith were seen as the means to that end…While the Spirituali took many of their ideas from older Catholic texts they were certainly inspired by the Protestant Reformation, especially Calvinism…It was their hope that most Protestants could be brought back within the Church by their peaceful reform and acceptance of some of their views on the importance of salvation through Christ's grace...Under Pole's leadership they not only had a high powered star of the Church, made a near-martyr by Henry after his slaughter of the poor man's family in England, but a man with the ear and sympathetic support of the current pope, Paul III…A good number of famous laity joined the group including the poet Vittoria Colonna, and her friend, the artist Michelangelo…Their great hope was that Pole would follow Paul as Pope and carry out reforms, even negotiate some of the Protestant sects back into the Church…"

"So, I know Pole lost out as Pope…" Howard noted…

"Yes, and the conservative who took the papacy, Cardinal Giovanni Pietro Carafa, proceeded to hound him, despite their former friendship, almost to the death, while destroying the Spirituality and condemning its views on reform…Pole only escaped condemnation because Queen Mary I had called him home to England and made him Archbishop of Canterbury…"

"Sounds a little Dan Brownish…" Bernadette noted… "But, you're saying, you revived this group?..."

"There are always reformers lurking about in our church, Bernadette…" James smiled… "A number of us felt that there needed to be a strong movement to reach out to Catholic scientists and others who have trouble reconciling the modern world with their beliefs…It has been, after all, a hard few years for the Church recently…Not to mention the general decline in clerical numbers and those taking up a religious life…Anyway CERN, with its large number of Catholics among its staff, is one of our most productive centers…And Angela is one of our leading members…Though, we are more discussion group than anything else…"

"And how does His…Holiness?...The current pope…Feel about all this?..." Howard asked…

"He appreciates the need to reach out…Worries we might drift away from the proper teachings…But is not closed to hearing our views and agrees with much of what we discuss…"

"But not everything?..." Bernadette asked…

"We wouldn't be a reform group, even just a discussion group, if the establishment agreed with everything we did…" James smiled… "But I can't see there being anything in our discussions that would cause anyone, except the most insane fanatic, to consider it worthy of attacking Angela…"

"Unless this was done by the most insane fanatic…" Howard noted…

"We've met one…They exist…" Bernadette…A bit grimly…

"I can't imagine such a person would even have heard of us…We're barely on the radar…Just a few discussion groups around the world…" James shook his head…

"But…May I ask…Why did you wish to meet with Angela that night?..." he eyed Howard… "Was it anything important as to the work?..."

"I wish I could say…I don't know…" Howard shook his head…

"Angela was very impressed with you, Howard…She admired what you'd done with the system components…" James paused… "I have to ask and mean no offense…Were you and she close friends?...I did notice you seemed to be getting on quite well in the lab the other day…"

Bernadette trying to look utterly casual…

"We corresponded a lot the last year, setting things up for the project…But if you mean, were we romantic?...No…And I've no idea why she was being…So friendly…To be honest, I kinda think she wanted to give the impression there was something going on so it would seem natural I was coming to pay her a call…"

Utterly casual…Bernadette told herself…Pasting a non-committal smile…

"That's odd for Angela…She's a pretty forthright girl…It's not like her to play games…"

"Whatever she wanted to speak to me about it must have been important…" Howard shook his head… "And she wanted it kept secret…"

Well, if it's intrigue…And not at all romantic…Bernadette noted to herself…

Though…Such things can lead…

"Was there anything your group did…Or her part of it…That might have been, you know…Controversial?..." she asked hastily…

Time for Bernadette Watson to put her oar in and see that all romantic aspects lead her way…

"I know the Spirituality kinda flirted with the faith over works thing…" she noted…

"Hmmn?..." Howard asked…

James grinned…Bernadette smiled…

"It's rather the key issue of Protestant versus Catholic in Christianity, Howard…" James noted… "After you get past arguments over corruption and lesser matters of doctrine…Whether as we believe, man has an active role in his or her salvation, with acts and repentance of critical importance, or as many believe, Christ's sacrifice has cleared the way for all or a select few so long as they accept him as their savior…The Spirituality tended toward the most Protestantish view, though not completely disregarding the role of man and the good works an individual could do…Though there are all spectrums of opinion among the various Christian groups, even within our Church…"

"Thou mayest…Or thou mayest not…" Howard pondered…

"Timshel…Yes…It's rather a motto for us…And a topic of some debate…" James nodded…

"Then your group does consider that issue…?" Howard eyed him…

"Academically, in discussion…We don't preach on street corners…Not that we even have settled it amongst ourselves…Though we incline to see it as a verification of man's independent choice…It's up to him or her to choose salvation…As a gift of choice from God, of course…"

"Angela wore the Hebrew word on a chain necklace…" Howard eyed him…

"A gift from me, actually…Just a reminder of our group…" James replied…Then stared… "You think that had something to do with the attack?..."

"Assuming there are no rabid antisemites at CERN, maybe…"

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XIV…

Meanwhile, in Sheldon and Amy's suite…The name of Father James having come up during the recount of the recent bizarre and tragic events…Charlotte had noted their previous acquaintance during her vacation visit to CERN some time ago…

"So you've…Met him?..." Amy, cautiously…Careful look…

"Yes…No…Not, that way…Amy, even in my worst days I had some restraint…" grin… "And he's a good man…From the little contact I had when visiting…" slightly sheepish look to the group…Penny offering a faint smile of support…

"I suppose you can guess my visit to CERN before wasn't entirely vacationing scientific curiosity…?"

"Oh…?" Amy…

"I knew how much Sheldon would love the place and I guess I supposed if I had contacts here…And could offer him an opportunity to collaborate…Even work here…"

Hmmn…Sheldon blinked…

"Not a bad strategy…" Leonard smiled…Raj nodding…

"I commend your insightful planning…" Amy smiled… "All those years in France never killed the Fowler in you…Gran would be proud…Of the foresight, at least…And a trip to CERN would have been on my list of delights to ensnare my moonpie had things not gone so swimmingly for us…" Beam to Sheldon…

"I am sorry, Amy…Folks…"

"I wouldn't have you here if I didn't believe that, sister…But despite your understandably love-and-lust crazed state…It being Sheldon the object of desire…And you can stop smirking, Moonpie…" she eyed Sheldon…

"Did you encounter anyone or anything that seemed…Odd or suspicious…?"

"Not that I recall…" Charlotte shook her head…

Still that winsome, wind-blown brush of hair…Penny eyed her…I suppose it's just instinctive…

Though you, buddy, will never be outta my sight while our reformed friend is here…She eyed Leonard in turn…Who caught the gaze upon him…

"And I was very thorough…I wanted to know the place right down to the plumbing fixtures and computer drives…Peter…Dr. Benton…Was very kind about showing me everything he could…"

Hmmn… "And was Peter…A good man?..." Amy, again cautiously…

"Amy…Not all my relationships were destructive…He was very nice…And we parted friends…" rueful look… "I do suppose his not being attached kept my enthusiasm a bit lower than with some…"

"Oh?...Unattached?…And you liked him?..." eager note…

"I think he got married last year…" sigh… "He mentioned he'd gotten engaged in a letter…"

"I'm sorry…"

So…There are a few others like Sheldon who can dodge the irresistible charms of the Charlotte virus…Penny, slightly stern look upon the now slightly hapless Leonard…

"Did I do something wrong?..." hiss to Raj…

"I'd guess only too well…And in a rollaway bed from what I heard…" Raj hissed back…

Oh…Yeah…

Well…Gee…If we can forget and forgive the woman who nearly killed some of us…

"Well…I was still too obsessed then and now…" Charlotte continued… "C'est la vie…He didn't mention he was married?..."

"Perhaps it just hadn't had a chance to come up…" Amy shrugged… "Leonard…?"

"I only know him through his rep, CERN, and the fellowship…Family hasn't come up to date…"

"In any case, I would say the main thing is to view the scene of the crime before the trail gets too cold and obscured by the police…" Charlotte noted… "There may yet be evidence that we could uncover…"

"And we have a team of Sherlocks for the job…" Penny grinned…"Sweetie?..." she eyed Leonard…

Hmmn…Back to sweetie, again…I don't think I best let my natural caution intrude here…Not to mention if we can help find out who did this… "Sure, what the heck, I'm in…" Leonard nodded…

"Excuse me…Breaking and entering, especially upon a crime scene…?" Sheldon stared…

"Oh, come on, Moonpie…We've walked on the wild side before…Including a few hours ago…" Amy, sly grin… "Show me a little of the crazy loon who leapt off a building twice for love of me…"

Raj to Leonard… "That champagne…?" he pointed…Leonard handing him a glass of the champagne from the honeymoon couple's welcome basket…From which the group had been toasting said honeymoon couple…He wolfed down the glass…

"I'm in…" he startled the group… "But, I'd recommend only a couple of us actually go in…The others cover the entrances and the main floor…In case of the police or the assassin's return…"

"Excellent, Raj…" Charlotte beamed… "And if I may…And Penny is willing…?"

Penny blinking…

"I recommend myself and she for the entry team…"

Well…I know I prefer that to Leonard and herself…Penny thought…And, oh…

I get it, I think…

"Sounds good, Charlotte…" she nodded…

"Wait…" Leonard stared… "Why you and Penny?..."

"Because Charlotte is one of our two most brilliant team members, Penny is agile, quick, and the only one of us with a degree of upper body strength…And the two of them are cute as minxes and quite experienced in reducing males to a state of befuddlement should the police intervene…" Amy noted…

"It's not as conscious as all that…" Charlotte, sheepishly…

"Instinctive…And very Fowler…" Amy nodded… "But it's an excellent and logical choice of team…"

"Hold on…What if that maniac who hurt Angela is lurking around?..." Leonard, nervously… "I don't want Penny or Charlotte at risk…"

"Minimal…We'll keep in touch by cell…And abort at any sign of danger…" Amy, precisely… "And Charlotte's very good at the quick exit…"

"Cruel necessity…" Charlotte nodded… "I had to dodge my share of mobs sure I was either an alien creature or a demon from Hell back growing up in Maine with my lumps…"

"We became quite adept…" Amy agreed…

"…And I have had to do some quick dodging occasionally since…I suppose a few people thought of me that way as an adult, even after my surgeries…" sigh, winsome smile…

"Well, it's in a good cause now…Like back when we were children…" Amy smiled…

"Are you sure about this?..." Leonard eyed Penny…

"In and out…Dodge a few cops…And some nut with a crowbar…Piece a cake, Hofstadter…" she grinned… "I'll be careful…" she whispered in his ear…

"Settled then…" Amy nodded… "We'll review with Howard and Bernadette and lay our plans for tonight over dinner…"

"And remember…?" she whispered to Charlotte...Stern look…

"Silent as the grave of the old caretaker we kept visiting to leave flowers and picnic at till folks thought we might be grave robbers or Satanists…Especially after seeing me, the Elephant Woman…" whisper, grin…Cross of heart…

"Thanks…We'll let him have it at dinner…I think he'll need a full stomach to fortify him…"

"Gran will be rather proud of you…Likewise a true Fowler…" Charlotte grinned…

"We are a most fertile lot…" Amy nodded… "Yes, Moonpie?..." she eyed the quizzical-looking Sheldon, now moving over to them…

"There's whispering going on here…" he eyed her…

"Sisterly, excusable…" Amy, solemnly…

"Whispering during planning for something dangerous makes me nervous…Like when my mother was always trying to whisper spell d-i-v-o-r-c-e over the phone…Amy?..." nervous look… "You aren't going with Charlotte and Penny?..."

"No, certainly not…" Charlotte, soothingly… "I wouldn't allow it…"

Amy, stern look…

"I mean…On your honeymoon…" quick smile…

Hmmn…Sheldon frowned…

I've developed a rather acute ability to detect when Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper is concealing something…

"Just bear in mind I will abort this operation with a call to the police should Amy so much as go off to the ladies room…" he insisted…

"That's love…"Amy smiled… "I'll make a mental note to empty my bladder beforehand, sweetheart…"

"But getting back to us…" Bernadette had now redirected the cafe conversation from its tangent of historical mystery…Eyeing both Father James and Howard… "I think you're deliberately evading our issues, Howard…I wish you'd tell me how you feel…"

Ummn…Howard sighed…

"If you'd rather I wasn't here…" James began…

"No, please, Father…" Bernadette raised a hand… "Howie, if it really embarrasses you…Ok…But if it's just to protect me…You can say anything to the Father…"

"Nah…It's just…Well, I thought I had said just about everything…" another sigh… "Bernie, I nearly ran Raj through with a sword a few months ago…I think that kinda says I was hurt…"

"Ok…Good…" she nodded… "You're angry and feel betrayed…"

"If you want…What is it?...Absolution?...Fine…I told you I forgive you…" he shrugged… "I just would like to know if this is gonna be a permanent thing in our lives…And if so, maybe…"

"I said I don't want to lose you, Howie…"

"Yeah, great…But what about Raj?...Bernie, if you want the truth, I don't want to share you with Raj…I don't want him in our lives…Or my life, anyway…Beyond being my friend…I've already told you…I need you to make up your mind…"

"If I may…?" James, cautiously…

"Sure…" Howard shrugged…

"Bernadette, I don't think Howard's request is excessive or unfair…I know it's not a matter you can just solve by turning off a switch…But could you give this relationship with Raj up, for Howard's sake…?"

"I mean to try…" she nodded… "I know…" wry smile to Howard.. " 'Do, there is no try.'"

"If we're being honest, sweetheart…Yeah…" he nodded, sad grin…


	9. Chapter 9

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XV…

"Howard!...Bernadette!...It's so nice to see you!..."Charlotte greeted the slightly bemused couple standing just inside the door of Sheldon and Amy's suite…

"May I?..." she eyed Bernadette…Standing before Howard…

"Uh…Sure…"

Howard accepting the hug graciously…Though stepping back asap… "How are you, Charlotte?...Amy said you'd finished a chemo cycle recently…"

"Oh, it was fine…I'm rather used to them…" she nodded… "Bernadette?...How do you like Switzerland?...And CERN?..."

"Fine…" Bernadette, nodding…Glance to Amy's pleading look…Hmmn…

Wasn't it enough I didn't freak and go for the hotel security guard's gun when she asked Howard to dance at the wedding?...

Still…The others seem not to be under duress or taking defensive positions…She looked at Leonard on couch who gave a wink, nod…So far, so good…Smile…

"You must be so proud of Howard…" beam… "Amy's told me how everyone at the complex is so impressed with his work…It must be so nice to hear…"

"Well…Yeah…" Bernadette, slight thaw… "They're all very nice…Howie deserves it of course…"

"Certainly…I'm so pleased to hear the first test went so impressively…" Charlotte nodded… "Sorry there was some data loss…Has that been tracked down?..."

"Not yet…" Howard shook his head… "It could be minor, just a drive crash…It's not unheard of, even at CERN…"

"And that poor girl…" sigh… "We were just talking about her…I'm glad you weren't hurt…"

"She seems pretty good…" Bernadette had moved to where Penny sat with Leonard on couch…Hissing to Penny…

"I think she's fine…Don't worry…" Penny whispered back…

"I was lucky…" Howard shrugged to Charlotte's stare… "I just wish I could've reached Angela's sooner…Maybe the bastard would've backed off…Though I doubt I'd've been much of a concern…"

"I'm sure Bernadette prefers you got there when you did…But is there any word on Angela?..."

"Nothing new that I've heard…" Howard shook head… "And we were just with the CERN chaplain…"

"Father McEwan?...Nice man…" Charlotte noted…

Penny eyeing Bernadette… "You guys were with the Father?..."

"Yeah…" cautiously…

"I asked him to drop by…To tell us anything he could about Angela's wanting to see me… " Howard, hastily to Bernadette's grateful look…

Thanks…

"Did he know anything?..." Leonard asked…

"Actually…Sort of…" Howard frowned… "She's part of a Catholic reform discussion group he created, based on what was sort of…"

"The Spirituality?..." Amy asked…

"Yeah…You've heard of it?..." he stared…

"PBS special last year…And we're part Catholic in our family…They were the real Illuminati, to some extent…Though not inclined to vengeance-seeking…Just reform…" eyeing an anxious-looking Sheldon, seated on chair in what Amy had previously determined was the Sheldonesquely sweet spot in the suite's living room…

"Moonpie?...Is that anxiety or just you wanting to dispense?...If the latter…?" she gave a slight wave…

"The Spirituality, a group of liberal Catholics in the sixteenth century, based in Italy, but with adherents throughout Europe, dedicated to enlightenment and reform, even willing to negotiate with the early Protestant movement as to many points of agreement…" Sheldon, hastily…Pausing… "Both, though, sweetness...If they're involved, I don't want you going…They could have gone evil, film Illuminati-style …After all your instincts before fired up, perhaps rightly…"

"I'm not going to the apartment, I'll be with you…I'll be perfectly safe…And I'm fairly certain my previous nervousness about the chaplain was due to overexposure to his brother's film…"

"Hmmn…" Sheldon pondered… "Correction…I don't want either of us going…"

"Father McEwan has revived the Spirituality?..." Charlotte asked…

"Just a discussion group, really…" Howard put up a hand… "But they are pretty active at CERN from what he told us…And Angela was prominent in the group…"

"What did they discuss that might've got some maniac chasing after one of them in their apartment with a crowbar?..." Leonard asked…

"And why are we even considering meeting said maniac for a second, likely far less positively outcomed, experience…?" Sheldon sighed…

"Charlotte has suggested a plan…" Amy cut in… "Involving a surveillance of the poor lady's apartment…"

"What?..." Howard stared… "But it's a crime scene…"

"Exactly…" Sheldon… "It's a crime scene, ergo dangerous…Too dangerous…"

"Aw, Sheldon…" Penny smiled… "That's sweet of you to be concerned…But Charlotte and I will be fine…With you guys in support outside…"

Raj, sighing…Glum look…

Right, support…Sure… I can imagine our madperson cringing in fear of us…

"You want to go there, when you could run into a maniac?..." Bernadette, glance at Penny, looking over to Charlotte…

With an ex-(we hope) maniac in tow?...she did not say…

"While the trail is still hot and the game afoot, sis thinks we should have a gander at the possible clues…" Amy noted…

"The police may have overlooked things we as trained scientists might find useful…" Charlotte, solemnly…

"Of course if Penny would rather not…I'd be…" Amy began…

"No…!" Charlotte, Sheldon…Sheldon staring at Charlotte…

"Sheldon would be very upset…Obviously…" Charlotte, hastily…Glance…

Amy…?

Ok…Return stare…Right, more than myself to think about now, I guess…

Two other someones at least…She beamed…

"Yes…Very upset…" Sheldon nodded… "Thank you, Charlotte…"

"Not at all, brother-in-law…You can't, Amy…For Sheldon's sake…And mine, sister…" Charlotte eyed Amy anxiously… "Please…"

Right…Make that three other someones at least…

A little frustrating…But…Kinda nice at that…She beamed…

"It'll be fine, Amy…I'm the 'muscle' here, right?..." Penny grinned…

"Well, lets not go trying that 'muscle' against some nut…" Leonard frowned… "How's about I go?..."

"Well, you'd certainly not be replacing me as the 'muscle'…" Penny noted…

"Excuse me?...I used to be the Sheldon-certified muscle for our group…"

"Sweetie, I love you but lets get real…" Penny smiled…

"Yes, it's like saying Howard is the Sheldon Cooper of the Engineering Group back home…" Sheldon nodded… "It may be true but only if you consider that on a linear scale compared to the log scale needed between us…"

"Sheldon…" Leonard frowned…

"It's fine…" Howard shook head… "I'm actually rather touched by that 'Sheldon of the Engineers' bit…And frankly, from a survivalist as well as feminist viewpoint, Leonard…Penny's really the better choice…"

"Exactly…" Penny beamed… "Thanks, Howard…"

"Yeah…Thanks…You know you've really become quite the apron-wearer since Bernadette…" Leonard hissed to Howard, annoyed…

"We'll be very quick…In and out…And all of you will be about to keep an eye out…" Charlotte noted…"But getting back to the Spirituality?...Was there anything Angela was involved in for the group that might have offended anyone?..."

Howard shrugged… "Lord knows…The Father didn't…But this is the age of Fox News and YouTube crackpots…It's not hard to believe some crazy person might have decided either a leader in a reborn Catholic reform group or a Catholic working at CERN deserved to be assaulted…"

"But she wanted to see you about something…" Charlotte noted… "And seeing as you're not a member of a Catholic reform group, it primarily has to have something to do with the ALPHA system modifications you designed…Or the test run and the subsequent data loss…Or both…Whether the new Spirituality is involved or not…"

"Of course there is the fact that Dr. Christos is part Jewish…" Howard reflected… "Though if they was ahunting Jews, they missed a full-blooded one…And she did advertise it a bit, wearing the Hebrew word 'timshel' on her necklace…In fact the Father says it's worn by a number of their group…Sort of a motto…"

"'Thou mayest'…?" Charlotte eyed him… "Or, 'thou mayest not'…The essential and primal choice of Mankind…"

"A Jewish word as slogan for a Catholic reform group?..." Leonard…

"Well for me, I'll take it as a polite attempt at apology for past unfortunate events…Besides, they were mostly Jews at the start, right?...So why not use Jewish mystical symbolism?...It was their heritage too, sort of…" Howard, shrewd nod…

"Point taken…" Leonard nodded…. "And big of you…"

"Hey…We're a forgiving people…" shrug… "Besides there's always been something between Catholics and Jews…When they're not forcibly baptizing and burning us, they fall in love with us…I think it's the fact we both like fancy music, pretty houses of worship, and difficult languages for our liturgy…" grin to Bernadette… "And there's clearly been some kind of genetic transmission of maternal guilt genes..."

"Well…If it's 'mayest'…Maybe someone doesn't like the choice being left open…" Bernadette noted…

Raj, seated in chair next to Penny and Leonard on couch, winced a bit, catching Howard's brief glance his way…Ending in quick, kindly smile…Raj making weak return…

Don't suppose 'thou mayest try thy damnedest and hope for the best' quite does it?...

Dinner…The hotel restaurant…

"Thank you so much Maurice…" Charlotte told her phone…Beaming smile to image of doctor in white coat on screen… "We're so relieved to hear Dr. Christos is out of danger…But still unconscious, eh?..."

"Good idea to have Charlotte call…" Penny hissed to Amy… "She being a doc and all…"

"And having 'met' the chief resident last time she was here…" Amy nodded…

"It's good she ran into him then…" Leonard innocently…

"Amy means she seduced him in her usual way, Leonard…But perhaps not being my puddin' s lil' bundle of lovin' you didn't catch the slight rueful inflection on 'met' in her sentence…" Sheldon noted…

Hmmn?...Leonard stared…

"A good potential helper if her plan then to lure Sheldon to CERN was needed…Charlotte's always thinking ahead…" Amy shrugged… Penny nodding reflectively…

Yeah, does kinda make sense…You'd want the local hospital's doc in your 'pocket', so to speak, in case you'd want to kidnap and drug the guy of your dreams from a top security international research facility…

"Bien, bon soir, Maurice…" Charlotte hung up… "Such a sweet man…" she smiled at the others, a little sheepishly…

"I really did like him and he wasn't married or attached, so far as I knew…Though Amy is right and he's not really my type…It just seemed logical then, in my obsession…"

"Oh…" Leonard… "Right…"

Hmmn…Glance by Charlotte to Penny…Ok?...

Yeah, no prob…Nod…

"But of course it was much different with you, Leonard…" Charlotte noted kindly…


	10. Chapter 10

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XVI…

"Fondue is a Swiss and French dish of melted cheese served in a communal pot (caquelon) over a spirit lamp (rechaud), and eaten by dipping long-stemmed forks with bread into the cheese. It was promoted as a Swiss national dish by the Swiss Cheese Union in the 1930s and became popular in North America in the 1960s."

"Bien…The word fondue is the feminine passive past participle of the French verb fondre ('to melt') used as a noun, probably influenced by a Franco-Provençal word. It is first attested in French in 1735, in Vincent la Chapelle's Cuisinier moderne, and in English in 1878."

Sheldon eyed Charlotte…Holding his fondue fork…Narrowing of eyes…Charlotte grinning back from her seat…

"To her, Moonpie…" Amy grinned…

"Get him, Charlotte…" Penny beamed…

"Well…The first known recipe for the modern cheese fondue under that name, with cheese and wine but no eggs, was published in 1875, and was already presented as a Swiss national dish. Despite its modern associations with rustic mountain life, it was a town-dweller's dish from the lowlands of western, French-speaking, Switzerland. Rich cheese like Gruyère was a valuable export item which peasants could not afford to eat." Sheldon, so there…Up-turned nose...

"The introduction of cornstarch ('Maïzena') to Switzerland in 1905 made it easier to make a smooth and stable emulsion of the wine and cheese, and contributed to the success of fondue." Charlotte, twirling fork…Arch smile…

"I was going to say that…" Sheldon frowned… "Anyway, Fondue was popularized as a Swiss national dish by the Swiss Cheese Union (Schweizerische Käseunion) in the 1930s as a way of increasing cheese consumption. The Swiss Cheese Union also created pseudo-regional recipes as part of the 'spiritual defense of Switzerland'. After World War II rationing ended, the Swiss Cheese Union continued its marketing campaign, sending fondue sets to military regiments and event organizers across Switzerland so that fondue is now a symbol of Swiss unity."

"Tres bien…" Charlotte nodded… "However…" determined gleam…

"Uh-oh…" Amy…

"Are we going to talk cheese all night…?" Bernadette hissed to Howard who put up a finger…

"Just a mo…This is getting interesting…Sort of like an incredibly long-winded version of Spy vs Spy…"

"The dish became popular in the United States through the late 1960s and early 1970s. In the meantime, as you noted, brother-in-law, fondue continued to be promoted aggressively in Switzerland, with slogans like 'La fondue crée la bonne humeur' 'fondue creates a good mood' and 'Fondue isch guet und git e gueti Luune' 'fondue is good and creates a good mood'-abbreviated as "figugegl". The extension of the name 'fondue' to other dishes served in a communal hot pot dates to 1950s New York. Konrad Egli, a Swiss restaurateur who had popularized cheese fondue, introduced fondue bourguignonne at his Chalet Suisse restaurant in 1956. Then in the mid 1960s, he invented chocolate fondue as part of a promotion for Toblerone chocolate. A sort of chocolate mousse or chocolate cake had also sometimes been called 'chocolate fondue' starting in the 1930s.

Cheese fondue consists of a blend of cheeses, wine and seasoning and is prepared in a cooking vessel of stoneware, ceramic, enamelled cast iron, or porcelain called a caquelon. To prepare the caquelon it is first rubbed with a cut garlic clove. White wine, cheese, and often kirsch are added and stirred until melted. A small amount of cornstarch or other starch is added to prevent separation."

"Sheldon?..." Leonard, grinning, eyed his friend's blinking, bemused face…

"Shel…Don…" Howard…Likewise grinning… "Has sis of the 189 IQ got you?..."

"Oh, for heavens sake, it's just bread or meat dumped into melted hardened milk that's been sitting around for months or years, usually growing bacteria and mold." Bernadette sighed…

"Sorry…" she shrugged… "It's been a long day and I'm tired…"

"I'm sorry, Bernadette…" Charlotte, kindly… "You're right…Sheldon?...Given you're not European, I concede you bonus points…Tie, brother-in-law?..."

"The bottom of a caquelon requires a thickness sufficient to prevent burning of the melted cheese when the vessel is placed over a spirit burner at the table. An encrusted layer of cheese forms on the bottom called the Grossmutter in German, La Religieuse in French, which is released when the fondue has been consumed and is shared between the diners." Amy, sly smile… "And since Sheldon told me that at lunch…" raising hand, eyeing her mate…

"You…" Sheldon grinned…High fiving, carefully…

"Bien…I concede…" Charlotte nodding with wave of hand…Warm smile… "Well done…Fowler-Coopers…"

"Wait…That's not fair…" Howard, slight frown…

"Oh, can't you give it a rest?…" Bernadette harshly…Rising and running from the table…

"Oh, my…" Charlotte, looking round… "I'm sorry…"

"No…" Howard sighed… "It was me…Excuse me, guys…" he rose and headed for the restaurant door Bernadette had just raced through…

"Was that?..." Leonard hissed to Penny…

"Yeah…"

"Should I?..." Charlotte eyed Amy….

"No…Bernadette's irrational jealousy of you should be dealt with by Howard…You'd only aggravate the situation…" Amy patted her hand…

"I didn't…" Charlotte, anxiously…

"No, for once entirely not your fault…Leonard, has Howard been talking about Charlotte much to Bernadette?..." Amy eyed him… "That would explain her volatility when Howard took her part…"

"Not that I'm aware of…" Leonard, blinking…

"I'm so sorry…I didn't realize…" Charlotte…

"Bernadette's clearly hypersensitive…I'm sure her jealousy is doubtless bound up with her guilt over betraying Howard with Rajesh…Right, Rajesh…?" Amy, pleasantly, to a Raj trying to slink down in his chair…

"Amy…" Penny, carefully…Raising a hand…

"Oh…Sorry…Right…We should be ignoring their affair for the sake of social convention…" Amy nodded… "My apologies, Rajesh…I was speaking hypothetically…I meant if you had had a passionate illicit affair with Bernadette…"

"Amy…" Penny, Charlotte…

"Which illicit affair was that Raj?..." Sheldon asked, curious… "Was it the one before we went to Maine or while we were there?..."

"Sheldon…" Penny frowned…

"One very large grasshopper for my friend here…" she waved to a passing waitress, indicating the sighing Raj… "On the double…"

"Thanks…" he croaked out…

"These things happen…" Charlotte, nervous smile to Raj… "Believe me, I know, Rajesh…Ummn…Not to suggest your behavior is anything like mine used to be…"

"Why don't we change the subject…Now…" Penny suggested hastily…Raj sighing and nodding…

"Absolutely…" Sheldon nodded… "Penny, as a healthy and fertile young woman, based on what Leonard's told me of your gynecological exams what's your impression of Amy's likelihood of conceiving during our honeymoon period?..."

"Sheldon…" Leonard, frowning… "Don't embarrass your missus like that…And I've never mentioned Penny's GYN exams…" Quick glance to Penny's frowning face…

"Oh, no…" Amy, beaming… "I'd very much like Penny's opinion…How's about it, bestie?...Do you think I have what it takes to start churning out Sheldon clones?..."

"But Leonard, you said Penny'd told you before she'd been told she could drop babies like…"

"Sheldon….!" Penny hissed… "Enough, please…" glare at Leonard…. "Amy, I'm no judge of that…Your sis is the doctor…"

"Not GYN…" Charlotte noted…"Though I would say, I think Amy should be quite fertile, given our family history and her fine constitution…"

Arch look to Amy…

Returned…With slight, irrepressible cackle…

Wait…

"Sheldon…?" Amy's face lit up… "Does your question imply you're anxious to commence reproduction?..."

Oh my God…Penny blinked at her…

"Hey…." Howard, startling the group who turned…Smiling…Leading Bernadette back to her chair…

"Hey…" Bernadette, shy smile… "I'm sorry I got upset…" she sat down… "I'm just a little tired…Charlotte?...Sheldon?...No offense intended…You're both very expert on fondue…"

"Not at all, Bernadette…" Charlotte nodded…Smile… "I hope you're feeling better now?..."

"Much…Thanks…"

"You alright there, buddy?..." Howard eyed Raj, slumped down in chair…

"Oh, fine…" Raj sat up a bit…

"You'll be pleased to know we've moved the topic of conversation onto the discussion of my fertility…" Amy cut in…A tad anxiously…

"The conclusion being I'm prime reproductive material…" she beamed… "And Sheldon wants to be a daddy…" wider beam…

No…Way…Leonard eyed Penny, who'd whispered quickly in his ear as the others spoke…

Way…She eyed him…Nodding…

"Sorry to deprive you of the surprise …" she hissed…

"Absolutely?..." he eyed her…

"Now that I know…Absolutely…" she whispered back, smiling at Amy…

"You want to be a father?..." Howard, staring at Sheldon…

"It's the social convention…" Sheldon shrugged…

"Absolutely…" Amy nodded… "So…Congrats, Dad…" she beamed at him…

"Sheldon?..." she looked at the floor…

Knew I shouldn't have let him sit near the end of the booth…

"Oh, my…" Charlotte, staring…

"Good thing Amy had me bring my bag…" she eyed the others staring at the unconscious Sheldon on the floor…

"There's no doubt?…" Father James eyed Dr. Benton, both seated in Benton's CERN office…

"None, now…The data storage was deliberately blocked and the real-time data deleted…There's definite evidence of sabotage…" Benton nodded…

"And…?" James eyed Benton's furrowed face…

"Yeah, more…Better not handle it, I've called the police to look at it…" Benton pushed a sheet of paper across his desk with the point of his pen to the priest who stared at it…

"Timshel…" James stared at the paper… "The Hebrew, anyway…

"…'Not…'"? he eyed the "Not" in English…

"What does it mean, James…?" Benton, carefully pulling the paper back again with pen…

"Roughly… 'You have no choice', I'd say…" James eyed him… "And meant as a threat, given what happened to Angela…Where and when was this found?..."

"Shoved under the main computer lab's front door…An hour or so ago…"

"Then…Whoever wrote it…Probably Angela's attacker and the likely saboteur…Has full access here…And knows the equipment in detail…" McEwan stared at Benton who nodded…

"No doubt there either…"


	11. Chapter 11

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XVI…

Hôpitaux Universitaire de Genève…

"Sorry to have spoiled our dinner…" Charlotte noted shyly, standing in the ER waiting room… "But as a doctor, I felt Sheldon had better be properly tested after that collapse…Not to mention he really ate hardwood when he hit the restaurant floor…"

"Oh, no…" Leonard waved a hand from his seat next to Penny… "Better safe than sorry…"

"Yeah…" Penny nodded… "Besides…Us in an ER…One of the guys undergoing tests…Particularly Sheldon…It's just like being home…" smile…

"Nice seats…And the hot chocolate is excellent…" Raj noted… "The Swiss clearly know how to make the ER a pleasant experience…"

"I'm sure Sheldon is fine…" Charlotte, hastily… "His pulse was quite stable…And given the occasion, his reaction wasn't all that unusual…Just perhaps a tad severe…"

"A tad…" Howard grinned… 

"Perhaps we shouldn't have been so quick to spring it on him…" Charlotte glanced to the ER door…

"He'll be fine…" Leonard smiled… "Though I coulda told you guys this would be his reaction…"

"I nearly fainted myself when I caught on…" Penny, shaking head…Arm on Leonard's shoulder… "Sheldon Cooper a daddy…It's a little hard to take in…"

"Amy's all right, though?...You're sure?..." Bernadette asked… "I didn't think she could turn any paler…And that scream she let out is still ringing in my ears…"

"She seemed to be…I'll see if they'll let me back in…" Charlotte, nervously…Heading for the desk…

"I'll go with ya…" Penny got up…Following…

"Well?..." Howard eyed Bernadette…Seated beside him…

"I guess…" she nodded… "She does really seem concerned for Amy…And her exam was professional…"

"She'd never have had a better time to make off…Or out…with him…" Howard pointed out…

"Maybe…" cautious nod… "Though I'll feel even better when they let us see Sheldon…"

"I did notice Amy was watching Charlotte like a hawk when she was giving Sheldon the once-over…Even while she was screaming for that ambulance to the manager…" Leonard noted, leaning to them, grinning…

They all watched as Charlotte and Penny headed into the ER…Penny giving them a quick thumbs up…

"So I guess this scrubs tonight's mission?..." Bernadette eyed Howard and Leonard…Raj now coming over to take a seat…Pausing near Bernadette then hastily taking the one by Leonard at her quick glance…

"I hate to lose more time…" Howard sighed… "Charlotte's right, we ought to survey for clues while there's still a chance…The trail may be cold by tomorrow with all those cops all over the place…"

"We could still go…" Leonard suggested… "Lets just make sure Sheldon's set…Amy can stay with him…Charlotte too if she wants…I can go in with Penny…"

What?...He eyed the others' stare… "I'm the male 'muscle' here, right?…And a trained experimenter…Just the person to do a proper survey…"

"I suppose you wouldn't get in Penny's way too much…" Howard noted…

Amy, with Charlotte and Penny, had emerged at the ER door…She, looking a bit weary…

"Everything ok?..." Leonard as the three came over…

"He'll be fine…But it may be a while…" Amy sighed… "On top of their wanting to do a few tests to be sure, he wants me to have a full exam…"

"Which is a very good idea…" Charlotte, firmly…

"He was so sweet, guys…" Penny, beaming… "He's all worried he frightened Amy…He didn't even get all excited about his CAT scan the way he always does…"

"You'd better proceed with tonight's activities without us…" Amy frowned… "Though please stay in touch and keep us informed…"

"If you want to stay, Charlotte…" Leonard began…

"Oh, no…The staff here is very good…And both Amy and Sheldon seem fine…I'll go…"

"Sheldon did note this all might have one benefit…If whoever is at work here is watching Howard or the rest of us, they may believe we're all tied up here…"Amy noted, smile…My clever boy… "We recommend you leave one at a time, via different paths…Try to seem like you're heading for the cafeteria or restrooms…Then rendezvous later…"

"Not bad…" Leonard nodded… "But, you don't really think anyone's watching us?…"

"It makes logical sense to be on guard…" Amy eyed him…Slight frown…

This some veiled comment on my Moonpie's anxieties…?

"No, Sheldon's right…It's a good idea to be cautious…" Howard, reassuringly… "But I don't think we can reach you by cell inside the ER…Maybe one of us should stay here in the waiting room…Our external link if there's any trouble…And if they don't hear from us in a few hours, convienently located to ambulances and emergency care …"

"Good idea…" Amy nodded…

"Frau Cooper?..." a nurse poked her head out the door to the ER… "You will come at once, for the love of God!..."

A frigh-frequency squeal emitting from the open door…

"What is that?..." Howard, staring…

"Sheldon…" Amy, Charlotte…Both a bit dreamily…Though Amy quickly recovering to give a somewhat narrow stare at her sister…Charlotte, an apologetic return…

"I'd better go…He's become a tad inclined to anxiety what with the…Oh my God…I'm bearing...I'm bearing Sheldon's child!..." she exclaimed… "I'm 'Frau Cooper' and I'm bearing Sheldon's offspring…!...Oh, this can't be happening!...I can't…" tears…

"Amy?..." Penny, startled…

"Delayed reaction…" Charlotte noted… "Amy…Calm and steady…You are Sheldon's wife and you are bearing his child…" slight sigh…Smile… "And it will be a beautiful baby…And you will be a wonderful mother and a beloved wife…And you will be so happy…Because no one deserves it more, my sweet sister…" hug…

"You betcha, bestie…" Penny, patting back…

"Now lets get you back before Sheldon bursts a blood vessel…" Charlotte urged…

"Right…Right…" Amy, a bit calmer… "Frau Cooper ist komingzee…" she noted to the waiting, anxious nurse…

"Frau Dr. Cooper…Yeah, that's me…Frau to Herr Dr. Cooper…" she babbled as Penny and Charlotte led her back…

"Yeah…" Leonard nodded, watching them head back into the ER… "A few tests would probably be a very good idea…"

"Raj will stay…" Bernadette, hastily as Charlotte returned to them…I thought Amy might be better with Penny settling her in, she explained, shyly…Raj blinking…Hmmn?...

Raj will stay?...He eyed Bernadette…

No way you're going 'troubleward' without me, Mister…Firm stare at Howard…

"Milady…" bow…

"It would be wise, I think, Rajesh…" Charlotte, encouragingly… "And you can contact us if Sheldon or Amy should have any problems…Not that there will be, of course…" glance around…

"Right…Just call me Gunga Din…" frown…

"More than that you can monitor the local police traffic…" Howard noted… "And should there suddenly be a bunch of cops or Vatican Swiss guards converging on Angela's building you can give us the high sign…"

"How's he going to do that?..." Leonard stared…

"Glad you asked…" Howard grinned… Pulling out what seemed to be a cell phone… "Behold, the reincarnation of my famed Wolowitz police receiver…With Interpol channel adaptivity…"

"My…" Charlotte peered… "Very nice, Howard…You know I used to keep several of my own design handy…I found them very useful…"

Collective stare…

"…Ummn…Being a doctor and all…"

Yeah…I imagine there were a lot of 'accidents' involving angry women, guns, knives, and cowering guilty males in quite a few towns all over your travels…Bernadette thought…

"Fine…" Raj sighed… "But only first watch…If this stretches beyond three hours, one of you has to come and relieve me…"

"Leonard'll be glad to, buddy…" Howard nodded…

Cause like hell is Bernadette gonna 'relieve' you…Or are you gonna 'relieve' me with…Or, of… My girl…

"Hey…Charlotte…!" Penny at ER door called… "Your sister and brother need big sister…" grin…Wave…

"Excuse me…" Charlotte hurried over, breathlessly…Penny opening door wide for her, then stepping out to join the others…

"Everything ok?..." Leonard asked…

"Yeah…She just wanted Charlotte to know she trusts her…I have a very good person for my best friend, female…" Penny beamed…


	12. Chapter 12

"The Wolowitz Enigma…"

Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…

"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"

Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Part XVII…

Angela Christos' apartment building, downtown Geneva…On her apartment's floor…Police notices taped on door in English, French, German, Italian warning not to enter…

Theme from Peter Gunn…

Leonard's head appears round corner of hall on floor, peering side to side…Rest of him following…Halting…

Another careful glance round…Wave…

Penny's head visible round corner…Likewise, side to side check…Right…Nod to Leonard…She emerges…

Charlotte immediately behind her…

Howard following…Shifty eyed glance…

Right…Nod to the others…Thumbs' up…Pause…

"Bernie?..." Careful hiss…

"Coming…" whisper…

Leonard and Penny frowning at their companion couple…Both in black…

"You two do realize you're lots more conspicuous in all black at night…?" Leonard asked…

"Only in the glare of streetlight, my friend…" Howard noted… "In the darkness, we are the cat people…"

"Meow…" Bernadette nodded…A bit archly…

"Great…Just don't let anyone see the 'cat people' or we might all be arrested as the 'cat burglars'…"

"Never fear…By night…We are invisible…" Howard, arching eyebrows…Pulling gloves on…

Penny giggling…Halting at Bernie's frown…

"Howard, you look like a mime with those white gloves…" Penny…

"I couldn't find any black ones…" Bernadette, with slight glare… "And I think it's very wise…Fingerprints, you know?..." thumbs up to Howard, who returned…

"A fine idea…" Charlotte, kindly…

"Sure…" Leonard nodded… "Great…" rolling eyes…

"Lets go…" Howard urged…

"We'd better leave someone on point guard here to alert us if anyone enters this floor from below or comes toward the apartment from another…" Charlotte suggested… "It's been my experience…Ummn…Well…I've heard it's always a wise thing to do…" slightly apologetic…

"Excellent idea…" Howard nodded kindly…

"But not me…" Bernadette, quickly… "I mean I'm properly dressed for the entry team…"

"Guess that leaves you, my lil' hobbit…" Penny grinned at Leonard…Who frowned…

Me?…Out here?... "Now just a minute…"

"We'll be in constant touch, sweetie…" she patted him…

"But?…Hey?..."

"We'll case the joint first…Being the ones properly prepped…" Howard, a bit smugly…

"Yeah…Prepped…" Bernadette nodded…Pulling crowbar from the bag she carried… "Turnabout, fair play…" she eyed the others who stared…Howard nodding…

That's my girl…

Kinda wish I'd brung my bat at that…Penny thought…

"You be careful here, honey…" she kissed Leonard on the cheek…

"Now wait a mo…" he tried… "We'll stay in touch…" she hissed as Howard moved to the apartment door…

"Leonard?...Keep an eye out for anything of interest here in the hall…" Charlotte whispered back…

Right…

Here…

In the hall…

Where I've just been emasculated…He sighed as Howard examined the door knob…Hmmn…

Let me see…Howard considered…

"Generally the police won't secure the door with more than a simple combination lock…" Charlotte whispered… "That should be all…" she indicated the padlock on the door…

And you know that…How?...Bernadette and Penny did not say…

"…So I've read…"

"Combination?...Child's play…" Howard smiled… "Bernadette?...Stethoscope …?"

She pulled out a stethoscope…He inserted the ear pieces...

"I'd guess a three number combination, based on the make…" Charlotte…

"Agreed…" Howard nodded… "One moment…" he applied the stethoscope… "And five…two…six…Voila…"

And he knows that…And avoided arrest for home invasion of various women…How?...Penny stared…

Thumbs-up to Bernadette as the door opened on turn…

"Well done…" Charlotte, warmly…

Penny, glance back to Leonard…Careful, sweetie…

He also serves who only…Aw, crap…Leonard sighed as the others disappeared inside…Penny closing door after her…

Still…Kinda nice to have a protective girlfriend…

Who's clearly afraid her lil' hobbit will break easy…

Geesh…Who climbed up after Amy back during the little hotel incident at the Cooper-Fowler engagement party?...Who took on the assassins gunning for Sheldon on the Lake Shore Express?...Ok, with help, but…

On the other hand…I am alone out here…And if the crazed assailant isn't in the apartment…

Hmmn…He glanced round…

"But are you sure you feel all right?..." Sheldon asked for the twentieth time…

"I'm absolutely fine…More than fine…A new level of fine…"Amy, nodding…

"That's too fine…Shading off into dellirium…Rajesh, what do you think?..."

Raj, in to check on their status, eyeing him…Hello…

"Oh, right…Well, do you agree?...Nod once for yes…"

Raj, fuming a bit, held up the sheet on which he'd written… "Hello…I'm not a trick horse…"

"And I'n not delirious…Just deliriously happy…" Amy, brief frown, then beam… "I'm going to spawn a lil' Sheldon!...Or Amy!…" she clenched fists in triumph… "Home run on the wedding night at the latest!..."

"What?..." she eyed Sheldon's slightly sheepish look…

"I…"

"Sheldon?...Are you worried about being a father…?"

"Certainly not…I have all the essentials for making the first major improvement in male parenting since fathers stopped exposing their unwanted children to the elements…Not always such a bad practice at that, by the way…"

Raj staring…

"Granted…" Amy beamed… "It goes without saying we are clearly superior parenting material…"

Choking gasp from Raj…

"So…?" she eyed Sheldon…

"Momma…" he noted…Carefully…

"You want to tell her?...I suppose that's natural, though never having been impregnated before I hadn't considered it…Yes, lets call…Momma…" Amy nodded, eagerly…

Me, the favored daughter-in-law…Favored, pregnant!...Daughter-in-law…

"No…I mean, yes, we have to call her…But…That wasn't…Amy?..."

"Still here, darling…" she eyed him… "You aren't having vision problems?..." worried tone…

"No…The names, Amy…" sigh… "I think Momma has names picked out…"

"What?..." stare… 

"I think she wants us to name the first born after Meemaw…Or Daddy if a boy…"

"What?..."

"It's fairly conventional for the mother-in-law to want to name the first born of her own children after relatives…Raj?..."

Raj pondering, nodded…

"She thought I'd get pregnant…?" Amy stared… "She actually had faith in my reproductive system?..." blink… "No one's ever had faith in my reproductive abilities…"

"Oh, certainly…She was sure we'd get pregnant…In fact she lectured me on not getting you knocked up every year till you're so worn out you're just looking for a corner of a dry well to curl up and die in…"

"Oh…We have to call her and tell her!...I have to thank her for being such a wonderful mother-in-law and being sure you'd knock me right up…!" Amy, jubilant…

"Does this mean we can name the baby as she wishes…?"

"Not on your life…" Amy, grimly…


	13. Chapter 13

Pardon, this and other tales may sit a bit as I must go abroad for work for a while and can't say as to access. I will try to squeeze in more as I can. Yours, Robert Gertz


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